What Can You Do When You Don't Want To Move
Posted: Monday, April 23, 2007
by Susan Thom
She grew up in a home she loved. Her parents provided security and nurturing. She was safe, and that made her feel as if the walls were a shawl, drawn around her shoulders. She was close to town, so she and her girlfriend could walk down and go to Woolworth's for a coke on Saturdays. Her grandmother and two aunts lived on the other side of their duplex, and she visited them often. On Friday nights, she would get to spend the night, but not before staying up late watching movies and having ice cream sundaes. It felt as if everything she needed was right in that home, and in that area. However, feeling that way did not take away from the uniformed rooms of the house. The style was simple. Three square rooms in a row downstairs, with the same format upstairs, and one bathroom for six people. It was over a hundred years old. She dreamt of someday having a different style home. One with more angles and privacy for it's inhabitants, and a family room like most of her friends had. Another bathroom would be nice, and a big back yard for the kids she dreamt of having. She also envisioned a nice long front porch with a swing to rock away the stresses of the day.
She was thirty one when she walked into the home she knew was meant for her and her family. It had four bedrooms, two and a half baths, and she had her very own master bath, mostly all to herself. It was an hour from where she had grown up, and was close to the Delaware Water Gap. She was on a twelve acre lake, sharing ownership with twelve other homes that surrounded this beautiful man made water hole, once used for cattle when it was a farm. Everyday during the warm weather, she would pack a cooler of snacks and drinks, and take the three kids down the long hill to the lake. They'd spend hours swimming and playing, and it kept them busy and happy. They perfected their swimming skills, and it was good exercise. And she perfected her tan! This was a daily summer ritual for years. There were woods in the back, leading down to the lake, and a nice flat area behind the house, fenced in for the kids and dogs. They had swings, a slide, and a sandbox, and played in the yard for hours at a time. She could keep her eye on them from the family room or kitchen. She decorated the home beautifully, with all new furniture and wall hangings and knick knacks. New comforters for everyone's bed, and all new curtains throughout.Each of her kids had their own rooms. She had a master bedroom that was bigger than the whole downstairs where she grew up. She was in her glory, and living out her dream.The area was all farmlands and open spaces. There were horses and cows and barns for she and her kids to see each time they came down their street. The schools were good, the people were friendly, the neighbors were nice, and she knew she had made the right choice, and never doubted it. All family gatherings were held at her home, and it was big enough to accommodate everyone. So many memories with such a large extended family. Beautiful scenery of mountains or the lake beckoned outside every window. There were different kinds of birds in all the birdhouses. The family room had sliding doors leading to a nice roomy deck. This center of the home was open to the kitchen where she could see the kids playing or watching a movie. Sometimes, there would be a fire going in the fireplace, a definite bonus for her. And a nice long front porch to sit and swing. Chimes musically entertaining, mountains soothing, nature outside the door, a nice lake to swim or fish, or skate effortlessly over the ice.
This home fit her like a glove, and she wore it well. Her husband was a merchant seaman, home two weeks, gone two weeks to Delaware. One shift, six years after they had moved there, he came home and, with absolutely no emotion, informed her that his boss said they had to move closer to the boat, either to Delaware or Maryland. Her heart sank and she almost forgot to breathe. How could she move away from her family, her friends, her community, the kids uprooted from their school and friends? It couldn't be true. Not even when the for sale sign went up. She confided her feelings to family and friends, and all were quick to tell her that she was just being stubborn. If she had to move, that's what she had to do. She insisted it was not going to happen. She could feel it, call it intuition, but she knew she and her kids were meant to be just where they were, and she wasn't about to move. For ten months, that for sale sign summoned interested couples to come and go through her entire home.They all commented on the beauty of this home, and the grandiosity of the lake and mountains. Her home, her lake, her mountains. She had taken this center hall colonial from a house to a home. They were her closets, opened and looked through. She cried each time another couple came to peek into her home and family life. Her Realtor called to tell her they'd never be able to sell her house if she cried everytime someone looked at it, so she cried even more. When ten months had gone by, her kids were about to finish that school year.They didn't know whether to say good-bye to their friends for the summer, or forever. She cringed everytime the phone rang, anticipating yet another Realtor waiting to pounce on her home with more buyers.
One day, an idea came to her out of the blue. What if she wrote to her husband's boss, and explained why they couldn't leave this home? She told him how she and her kids felt about their home, and that it hadn't sold in ten months. She also told him of her close knit family, and how she didn't want to leave them, and to please reconsider his decision that they had to move. When her husband came home, she asked him if she could send the letter. His pessimistic reply was, "You can send it, but I doubt it will do any good." It went out in the mail that day. All friends and family thought she was the most obstinate person on earth. They each took turns trying to talk "some sense" into her. She, however, was waiting to hear from the big boss. Two weeks went by, with no word, and off her husband went to work. Four and a half hours later, the phone rang. It was him, and he told her she could take the for sale sign down, his boss said they could stay! She couldn't get to the sign fast enough. It was down, she called her Realtor, they took care of the paperwork, and it was no longer on the market.
That was 14 years ago. She was able to keep the home she and her kids loved so much, and continued their lives by the mountains and the lake. She and her husband separated, and he now lives in Delaware with his girlfriend. They are about to finalize their separation with a divorce. Her soulmate has been living with her for the past eight and a half years. She may very well have been persistent, but it paid off. Had she kept her mouth shut, who knows what would have happened? She'd be in Maryland, or Delaware, alone, and waiting to be divorced. Instead, her kids got to grow up in the best place she could think of, and she didn't have to leave family, friends, or soul mate. And it only took a little ink, a piece of paper, an envelope, a stamp, and a whole lot of stubbornness.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Good for you Susan! People vastly underestimate the value of having a place of sanctuary and a community of support!Please log in to respond to this comment.
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