The Special Bonds Of Soul Mates
Posted: Saturday, June 02, 2007
by Susan Thom
There is a special bond between two people who know from their soul, outwards, that they are meant to be together. They may have their arguments or miscommunications, but they know from deep within that they are meant to stay in that relationship, and work things out. I know how it feels, I have been connected to my soulmate for almost thirty nine years. We spent twenty three of them apart, too young to completely understand the damage we would cause to each other as a result of our immature break up at nineteen, but we never stopped thinking about each other. We had made mistakes, and we had to take care of our lives the best we could until it was possible for us to be together again.
I have to admit, it was all consuming. Not a good way to live, but my heart, mind, and soul belonged to the one, and only one, I felt I was created to be with by my Higher Power. This made it appear and feel to me, as if I was cheating to be with anyone else, even though I knew our time to be back together was still ahead in the future. I couldn’t put my life on hold, however, so I lived, and dated, and felt guilt and shame, knowing my soul knew the difference. There was no magical connection with anyone else. No conversations of life and love and kids and parents and friends. No similar belief system. No smile that would warm my heart and kick all my senses into gear. No charm saved just for me. No playful kidding that only we understood. I had felt protected with my soul mate, he was my armor, and I always felt safe and content in his care.
I also knew the sensitive side of this friendly giant, who others naturally felt intimidated by. I knew his gentleness, his deep feelings of right and wrong, his hopes, his dreams, his desires, and I felt privileged to be one of those desires. Having a deep belief in a Higher Power, I always knew we were designed to share our lives as a couple, but I didn’t know how that was going to come about. I felt my soul needed to connect with his again. I was forty two, and I didn’t want to waste anymore of my life without the other part of my soul.
I had been verbally separated from a man I married, it was a disaster from beginning to end, but produced my three beautiful children. So, although a mistake for for, and my psyche and soul, it was not a mistake in my Higher Being’s mind. There were things I had to learn, experiences I had to go through, time that needed to heal old wounds. And the same was true for my absent soul mate. I had children to raise, he had children to raise. Older people are always saying, "Enjoy each day, the years go by so fast." I wouldn’t sat they went by fast, but they went by.
I got in touch with my childhood sweetheart at forty two, and have been with him for the past nine years. His kids were going off on their own, and he came to live in our house, and helped me raise my kids the way I always wanted to raise them. This was because we think so much alike, and I had been forced to battle for fourteen years at that time, with someone who’s ideas, thoughts, and actions were totally opposite of mine.
My kids were confused on what road to take, mine, or their father’s. They chose the easier path. Understandable for young kids, but that path had to be shut down, and a new, more positive one created. My soul mate and I have been able to create that path, together. It hasn’t been easy in any way, shape, or form. But it has been worth it. My kids are happier now, they feel safe, they feel loved and wanted and appreciated. There have been many battles and many hurt feelings, but they made way for better, more respectful and spiritual ways of looking at life, and living it. They are stronger now, and they need to be, they will be entering the world of the unknown within the not so distant future, and they need to be equipped.
I know what it feels like to go into the unknown, alone, scared, wanting, but not having. We want to help our kids know how to deal with those feelings should they arise. We were both out there with no one helping us but ourselves, and what we had learned being together for seven years when we were younger.
We had never fallen out of love, just played the ultimatum game once too many times, and split because of it. The feelings never left though. They somehow get infiltrated in your mind, your heart, your soul, your blood, and your skin. There is no escape. I know, because before I had kids, I tried everything to take the pain away. No amount of alcohol, or drugs could confuse my being that I wasn’t wanting something I couldn’t have just yet.
During the years apart, I kept trying to remember my mother’s famous saying, "Anything worth having is worth waiting for." My problem was I didn’t want to wait. The choice was not mine. It happened. Twenty three years is a very long time to wait. I tried to keep myself busy with the kids and house and chores and friends. The years starting adding up, the kids were getting older. That must mean his kids were getting older , too. They were older than mine. I knew he would be free once his kids were old enough to be on their own. When I thought the time might be right, I wrote him a letter. He responded the next day, and we’ve been together for the past nine years.
There is something definitely different between a soul mate and a mate. I've had mates, but it was nothing like being with the one I truly loved. There was no connection, no electric charge like the one I feel when my soul mate walks into the room. When I go out, I can’t wait to get back to this man I love and understand, most of the time. When we go shopping, and split up, and I see him in an aisle, my heart still starts to beat faster, I catch myself smiling and I can feel his energy, and he knows of all the people in that store, when he turns his head, I’ll be the one looking at him. We know we belong together, no matter what the trials and tribulations will be, and there have been many. And we’re not done yet. We still would rather be together along this ride of life and kids and shopping, and taking care of our home on the inside and out. And problems that occur are easier to correct with the two of us sharing our whit, and coming up with a decision we can both live with, as well as the kids.
I was separated from the one my soul loves, for twenty three years, and I am getting divorced from a twenty three year marriage. There are no coincidences. I am looking forward to my kids finding themselves in this world, and bringing home grandchildren for me to love and play with. Everything is much happier when I share it with the only man I’ve ever truly loved, from my soul, my soulmate.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)I understand what you are saying as well agree, but right now its very hard for me because this just happen just Saturday where I couldn't hold any longer so I had to let him no that I knew about him asking and taking his suppose to be ex-girl friend with him to help with some pictures. But I feel betray because I felt that he should have told me what his plans were not for me to have to here it from some else, but he is telling me that I should asked him but how is that when he never told me in the first place. On top that he tried to bet me mad about the hold thing, and then wanted to bring up about our age differents which is 19 years diferent and he new that from the beginning. So please tell how should I deal with thisPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Tanaka, in this day and age, we all have to be careful of who we let in our lives, especially the ones we let stay in our lives. honesty is paramount to a good relationship. my partner and i have never lied to each other. you need to ask yourself the right questions, and since i'm not a psychologist ot a therapist, i can only share my own experiences. my husband lied and told half truths, and even though it wasn't about women, it was always something, even as simple as who used all the gas in the car? he never knew, but forgot to tell me he took the kids to a beach miles away. i didn't like living like that. when i ask my soul mate a question, he answers me truthfully, whether i like it or not! and i am the same with him. trust comes from being honest with each other. you could take a half hour or so and make a list of good points, and bad points, see how they match up, but then, save the final answer for last, "do i want to live with someone who i can't trust?" and is it your insecurities that aren't trusting, or his dishonesty? i hope this helps you. good luck, best regards, sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.
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