Are There Degrees Of Sadness
Posted: Sunday, June 17, 2007
by Susan Thom
How do we describe sadness, and what makes it different from depression, or malaise, or lethargy? I think sadness is the absence of light and positive energy in our souls and hearts. That absence can make us feel weak and down trodden and at a loss for any real contentment in our lives. I’ve experienced all different degrees of sadness.
I remember fondly, my favorite porcelain doll my grandmother saved from her friend’s garbage pile. I loved that doll. The way it was made, with the porcelain arms, legs, and face, and the weight of the body, made it feel like a real baby. It didn’t matter that there were light black spider veins all through it’s face from the top layer of porcelain being so old. One day, I dropped it, and it cracked in pieces. I was so sad. One moment I was playing mommy, and the next, I was overseeing a burial!
When I got older, I really wanted a corvette. There was just something about the lines of an older corvette that I admired. I got a good job at a post office at twenty one, and by the time I was twenty three, I had saved up enough money. I bought a ’74 white, t top corvette, and I loved everything about it. It was like everytime I got in it, it was an adventure. It was fun to drive, it was noticed by all, and I felt good in it. I had a bit too much to drink one night, and I got into an accident, and that was the end of the corvette. Sadness, among a thousand other emotions. One moment, I was driving down the road in my cool corvette, listening to tunes, and the next, I was picking up pieces of fiberglass in the woods.
When I was thirty two, my mom became sick with cancer and passed away. Total and complete sadness. Only this time, there was a lot of depression mixed in as well. This kind of sadness was much more intense than when my CD player broke, or my beloved ceramic doll, or my cool corvette. This was devastating. I could buy a new CD player, a new doll, a new corvette, but I couldn’t buy a new mom. It took a very long time to get over this sadness. I’m not totally over it yet, and it’s been eighteen years. The different degrees of sadness!
It’s funny how sadness works. It creeps in on you slowly, and increases in depth according to the situation. It stays with you for a while, bringing your mood down and your energy. It tries to get you to retreat into your room. It wants you to pull the covers over your head, take a sleeping pill, and escape the pain. Hopefully, it subsides with time and rationalizing and contemplating and prayer. If not, depression steps in and takes over. Sadness isn’t strong enough an emotion for some things.
So, how do we get ourselves out of the grips of negativity, and back into the land of the happy and content? Usually, something has to happen that lifts our spirits. We begin to remember what it’s like to feel good, and we strive to get there once again. We can do little things for ourselves to initiate this process. If we can afford to, we might buy a new outfit, or some pretty new pillows for the couch, or a new tablecloth for the kitchen table, or a new set of soft sheets. I love going to the dollar store and just getting whatever I like, and not spending much money. We might visit a good friend, and talk and relax for a while. A nice bubble bath always feels good, and calming. Listening to our favorite music may bring us some comfort. It makes us feel good to tackle a task we’ve been putting off. Hopefully, we’ll spring back to a level of contentment that is pleasing to our mind, heart, and soul.
There's usually a lot of conversation back and forth between the conscience and the mind, trying to talk our way back. How important is what we are so sad about? What degree of hurt is involved? I wasn’t as sad when my CD player broke, as I was when my mom passed away. Is the sadness doing us any good? Is it healing our pain, or adding to it? And when is it enough time to let go of that sadness? When do we push ourselves to move on in a more positive way? When we’ve had enough pain? Enough sadness? Maybe when the tears start to dry out from hours of uncontrolled crying and sobs of pain and despair?
I guess everybody has to get there in their own time. But I think it’s very important that we all have the tools it takes to get us back to where we can be productive, to ourselves, as well as to society. And those tools start out with thinking about our health and well-being, and what we can do to create such.
What we can do for ourselves, as opposed to what others can do for us. It’s not anyone else’s job to make sure we’re happy and secure. That has to come from within. We need to know we’re going to be okay, no matter what. I know it’s not easy, I struggle with this concept and the work involved, everyday. But, I’ve been on both sides of the fence. I’ve been sad, and I’ve been happy, and I’d much rather be happy.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Susan, Excellent article about the impact of sadness. Please, this is constructive assistance. Watch spelling, "when" rather than "wen", and sentence fragments (no verbs) such as... Alot of conversation. etc. You are doing great! jamespkrehbielPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi james,you probably thought i didn't answer your comment, only i never got it-along with some others, until today.sorry for the delay.since this was 2 years ago, i think and hope i am better at watching spelling and sentence fragments.thank you for reading and commenting,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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