Be Careful Of Post Traumatic Depression
Posted: Saturday, June 30, 2007
by Susan Thom
I recently went on a little roller coaster ride through life and it's negative interruptions. I handled myself well, and with dignity. I didn't cry, I didn't come apart, I just dealt with each moment. It was foreign to me not to be in my own surroundings, but I made myself accept where I was, and made the best of it.
My brain was exposed to experiences I had only read about, and I was teetering between fantasy and reality, as if in a haze of steam. I couldn't figure out how I ended up where I was, but my faith believes that everything happens for a reason, and I knew there had to be a damn good one this time. There was something that had to be changed and I had to figure out what that was.
Once the experience was over, and I was back in my own surroundings, and again, I played the role of mother, lover, cleaner, chore runner, taxi cab to bring my daughter back and forth to work, pet owner, and writer. I wanted to forget my adventure, but I knew I had to absorb it and get the positives and incorporate them into my life, bringing the positive energy into my being. I tried to do that in the best way I knew how, by appreciating everything around me. I appreciated my kids, my partner, my home, my bed, my bathroom, my dogs, my car, my computer, my writing, my front porch swing, all the nature I see from that swing, and my freedom. I wanted to soak it all in. It was replacing negative energy for a positive force that would clearly help the flow of energy going through my body. I had been to the lowest point of my being, the dark side of the soul, and now, a few short days later, I was allowing the sunshine to illuminate me once more. I was flying highm and then, without one bit of warning, I crashed. The happenings of the previous days hit me straight in the mind, body, and soul.
My mind was thinking irrationally, my body was tired and achy and lethargic, my soul was hurt, and felt like it was bleeding inside of me. I was in a state of depression, and I really didn't care. Everything I guess I should have been thinking when I was going through the acts of being functional, came back to bite me. The fears I had then, I experienced now. I was safe, so I could relive the feelings and emotions of those days. I could let myself breathe and go through the feelings I had kept at bay. I could be sad. I could be mad. I could be depressed, and I could be hollow. I have read books that explain this phenomenon. We rise to the occasion when we have to, and when it's over, we can let down our guard, and experience the feelings we couldn't at the time.
A funeral is a good example. When my mom passed away, I didn't cry. I don't know why. The tears wouldn't come. After the funeral, when I was home, I cried for hours, and I took another little ride to depression land for four years until I pulled myself together.
When we go through operations, it's the same concept. When I had surgery, it took a while for me to get back to normal, and again, I was fine all during the pre visits and the operation, I crashed later. Another time, I had to have all my top teeth pulled, and all but the bottom 6. The dentist did this in two sessions. My partner drove me, I had it done, he drove me home, and I walked, talked, ate, showered, slept, but I wasn't myself for a long time. And I had been warned by the dentist that I would undergo depression, as this was a great trauma to the body. I thought I did great. There were no problems or complications. About a week later, I felt like a sledgehammer hit me. I was definitely in shock. I had to heal from the trauma I thought had already passed. I went through the depression, after the fact.
I think thoughts and emotions and feelings come at their own pace, not when we think they should, or want them to. It's almost as if they need time to absorb and digest the information flooding them, and then crash and burn for a time, and then start to build back up in a more positive fashion. Once the initial impact happens, they stay strong enough to deal with whatever the predicament is. Then, when all is back to normal, they all break down together, and need to rest.
Unfortunately, others don't understand why this post traumatic syndrome exists, and they want things to be back to the way they were right after the incident at hand. Those who love us, need to have patience with their loved one, and understand that trauma takes time to heal, and it can't, nor should it, be rushed. We all have to deal in our own way and in our own time. The twists and turns we feel after a traumatic experience need to be put back on track. Our energy flow needs to be balanced again. Usually, it takes a very upsetting situation to get us to the point where our mind, body, and soul are separate, doing their own things, instead of bonding together and helping us through. Therefore, when things get back to our comfort zone, we need to rest up, keep calm, take a nice aromatherapy bath, buy a new outfit, write a new story, whatever it is that gets the juices flowing in a positive way again. we need to pull ourselves out of the depths of hell, or depression, and get on with our lives.
Only we can do this, others can help, and be supportive, and pray for us, but in all actuality, it is up to us to fix ourselves and get on with life and happiness. It helps to know that this depression stage will occur. We can try to make more of an effort to stay with the moment, and not hibernate in our rooms or on our computers. There are always going to be situations that will arise that make us sad, depressed, angry, confused, and frustrated. The easier we learn how to deal with those times, the better off we will be, and the less the depression will sit in afterwards. I think it all has to do with how aware we are. If we know this lethargy is going to happen, we can learn to deal with it better. We can do things that give us pleasure. We can take that walk through the trails, or go for that boat ride, or play with our puppy, or swing on our porch. We can pick our roses, and watch the birds in the birdbath, and wonder how the hummingbird stays suspended in the air. And we can let the depression affect us in a lighter, more functional way.
This Article has been viewed 190 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.