Do Our Kids Still Think They Are Invincible
Posted: Sunday, July 01, 2007
by Susan Thom
I wish I could use my experiences and talk to kids about drinking and doing drugs. I was a child of the 70's, and a dysfunctional home. There you have it. I did drugs, and I drank. I, too, was one of those bar hoppers who thought I "was alright" to drive. I never was. I remember swerving and swaying and seeing blurry as I tried to maneuver my way back home. I also remember having to open the windows all the way, afraid I might get sick or pass out. Never did I think of the magnitude of what could happen to me, and others, because of my inability to drive during those times. I never thought I'd get in an accident. I never thought I'd get pulled over by the police. I never thought I'd get hurt in any way.
I can, but what good would it do? I've told all my son and his friends my drunk story that hurt me the most. Fortunately, no one was hurt. I had a '74 white t top corvette I adored. I was at a bar with some friends, watching the World Series, and I drank too much, left, started on my way home, thought I saw something dart out, swerved, did a few 360's, and veered into the woods and hit a tree. The vet was taken out on a stretcher, or what they referred to as a flatbed! I was sober by the time the police came, and passed all their tests. I wasn't proud of that then, or now. My vet was totaled, and I never saw it again. I could have killed myself, or others. But, when I left the bar, I "was alright."
This happened too many times to remember. There were many mornings I would wake up to my purse missing, and have to retrace my steps until I hopefully, found it. Once, my car was missing. I got a phone call later in the day from a friend who said she drove me home, and then herself, because I couldn't drive. There were mornings when I would wake up at people's homes I didn't know, only to find we had made friends at the bar!
How do I tell these kids that these are not fun things to happen to oneself? There is a lot of shame and guilt involved with drinking and driving, and now, most kids are underage drinkers because the legal age is twenty one. That's an added offense. Alcohol and drugs, take all the natural inhibitions away. If you wouldn't just go sit on some guy's lap and start kissing him, you may do just that after enough drugs and alcohol. Many girls get pregnant because their inhibitions were low, or they were having sex anyway, but were more careful without the alcohol affecting them. Some terminate their pregnancies, and live with that guilt and shame forever. This can be psychologically damaging for life. It could even interfere with the way one cares for a child they do have. Or it can make the young girl feel insecure and unsafe for the rest of her life.
There is so much that can happen as a result of too much drinking, and doing drugs, and yet, we parents can't prevent it from happening, because all the teens "know it." They don't "drink and drive." Only you know better. They think they are the same "invincible humans" we thought we were when we were younger. My mother harped on me about drinking and driving, and doing drugs. She was a nurse, in charge of the emergency room at 11 at night until 7 in the morning, the worst time. She would tell me all her accident stories in an attempt to wake me up, and warn me what could happen. I still went to the bars, I still drank too much, and I still "was fine."
Now I'm trying to get my kids, and their friends to understand the same things. And they're acting just like I did. So, I can only pray that they know when they're fine, and when they're really not, and they don't drink and drive. I'd rather them not do anything, but they have to reach that point on their own, they're adults now. Escape has always been more popular than working problems out. These kids escape from hard subjects in school, peer pressure, money problems, work problems, car problems, love problems, self esteem issues, and battling parents. These problems were no different than what I rebelled against when I was going to show them! I was going to escape. Right into a tree!
No one knows what it feels like to be in an accident, until they are in one. Therefore, it's hard to describe the feelings of loss of control, fear, panic, and disbelief, all happening at once. Hearing metal rip and glass crack and windshields cracking are not things we want anyone to hear, and especially not near our kids.
I think the only way to handle this is become more aggressive with teaching our kids in school, showing them accidents on tape, what happened to the people, how much they had to drink, showing them clips of cars mangled after a night on the town. And we would do this at 15 and up, so they'd have time to think about it before they drive. I don't know any other way to get it through their invincible heads.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)good article SusanPlease log in to respond to this comment.sorry david-i'm just getting my comments on some articles.thank you for reading and commenting,as always,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Nice article, Susan. I am an 18-year-old girl, and I see that a lot of my friends feel the way you described most young people do. I don't know how to explain it to them either. I'm personally terrified of getting into a car accident so much that I don't even want a car until I absolutely need one. I never have or intend to drink, but even when I just am riding in a car I always worry something will happen. I've never felt invincible, and I can't understand why anyone would either.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi jessica,there was a problem and i just got my comments-sorry for the delay.i think if we drive with safety in mind, and are aware of what the other driver is going to do, it will minimize our accidents, although, like the word says, they are accidents, and may occur at any time. however, the more careful we are, the better the odds of not having to feel what it's like.thank you for reading and commenting,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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