Pessimism Over Optimism, Which Works Best
Posted: Monday, July 02, 2007
by Susan Thom
I have never been a pessimistic person. I always had dreams and goals and looked forward to life. I wasn't lazy, I moved whatever I had to, by myself, and enjoyed maintaining a nice home when I became an adult and got married. I thought anything was possible, even marrying someone I knew wasn't for me. I was optimistic that we would grow to care about each other. That never happened. One of the main reasons, was his negativity and pessimism over anything and everything, and using these characteristics to camouflage his laziness.
I took care of the house and three kids for two weeks while he was away, for fourteen years, and then, one week on and one off for nine. I took care of a lot. I was an optimist, and I enjoyed what I was doing. There wasn't anything I didn't think I could do. When I would go to visit his parents with the kids, or mine, when he was away, I'd carry one kid on each hip, up to bed after they had fallen asleep on the way home. I'd be saying to myself, these kids are heavy, and this is awkward, but I'm doing it. And then, I'd go back for the third. A pessimist would have left the third behind!
I have been disappointed many times, even being an optimist, but that's never changed me from thinking the best about any situation. Not everything is going to work out, but being an optimist brings joy to your life, and excitement, and the strength to do what you want. A pessimist bows their head down, shoulders always slumped, never trying anything new, picky about what they eat, and what they do. How they think, is how their life goes, dull and boring, and slow. Blaming everybody else for their sorrows.
I have used my optimism to make things happen in my life that have brought me much joy. I'm 100 % sure, pessimists never have more than one child! How they could go through labor more than once, when it's hard enough for an optimist, is beyond me. Drugs?
Pessimism can, of course, be passed down, as my three kids can attest to. Or rather, I can attest to. I just got a call from my son's Tech school. He has stopped going, it's "too hard." He is lazy, like his father, he didn't put any effort into succeeding, he had every excuse in the book as to why he couldn't understand the work, it was too hard, and now, his father is out 30,000 dollars, but, hey, he's the one who taught his son to be a pessimist. And because I worked against that, my son also has shame and guilt over it. Pessimism is more serious a trait than one may know. It can cause a lot of damage. My son has moved out over it, quit school over it, and didn't call me or see me for my birthday. That's pessimism and laziness for you.
My sixteen year old is getting better with my partner's and my guidance, now that his dad is gone, but he would bow his head, and slump his shoulders whenever asked to do anything, such as to take out the garbage, mumbling the whole time about why he had to do it. My partner is also optimistic, so with his example, my son is learning how to live a happier, freer life. Being a pessimist had my son stuck in his room all day on his computer, because he was too lazy and too pessimistic to take a walk down the lake, or go fishing, or have a friend over to go swimming, or sit on the dock. Now, he's starting to do all of these things, and of course, his life is better. He's learning to enjoy nature and peace and beauty.
Everything I say to my twenty two year old daughter, from birth!, is met with resistance. It's never been different. We'd fight when she was two, four, and every moment of every age. Pessimist. Never seeing the happy side of the situation, always looking at it negatively, and then, arguing with me over it to boot. We still can't have a positive conversation. She won't spend a dime on anything unless it's a necessity, just like her father, but she doesn't realize the happiness she is missing by following in his footsteps. It takes very little to make me happy, as far as cost wise. If I had twenty dollars, and went to the dollar store, I'd be in Heaven. My sixteen year old spent ten dollars for my birthday and got me three suncatchers, and I absolutely love them. My daughter got me nothing. Just an apology for missing my birthday. She said I didn't want to know why, and I agreed!
Pessimism is a dis ease as far as I'm concerned. This life wasn't given to us for us to live it in slumped shoulders and negative mumbles. It takes more energy to be negative, than it does to be positive, and when we're positive, we actually receive energy. I think pessimists draw that energy right out of them. Only now, I'm learning how not to let them draw it out of me.
This Article has been viewed 336 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Yeah Susan, even among alcoholics you have your optimist who will say the bottle of whiskey is half full. As opposed to the pessimist who will say the bottle is half empty. I try to look at life with optimism it does help us get through difficult times.Please log in to respond to this comment.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.