Cigarette Smokers Can Be Wonderful, Caring People, Too
Posted: Tuesday, July 31, 2007
by Susan Thom
I hate the way a cigarette looks in we smokers' mouthes. I don't like the way it looks when the smoke comes out of our mouths and noses. I don't like the nicotine stains on my fingers. I don't like the way I smell like smoke. I don't like thinking about smoke in my mouth, especially if I want to kiss someone good-bye.
I smoke. I have been addicted since I was about sixteen, and I am fifty one. I hate it. I hate that I had to go through the beginning stages of the "don't smoke" craze in the schools. My kids were actually taught to think their parents' were bad for smoking, since smoking was bad. Way to go society. Here I am trying to be the best mother I can be, and my kids think I'm bad because I smoke. Why not recognize it as an addiction, and give help to people who can't quit? With finances the way they are, and cigarettes being so expensive, I may be forced to quit. I don't know how I'll do it, but if I have to, I'm sure I will find a way, but I sure as hell know it's going to be hard. And when I do quit, will I be a different person? Will I get smiles from people walking by an outside cigarette ash tray container, instead of the ones of disdain I am oh so used to.
Not one person acts the same when I have a cigarette, than when I don't. I don't change, my personality doesn't change, I am kind and smart and funny and generous and thoughtful and loving, and those things don't go away when I light up a cigarette. People instantly form a judgment of you.
I have friends who will attest to the deep relationships we have with each other, and the good things we do for ourselves and others, as a past time, knowing it's what we're supposed to do. We roll the window down in the car, light a candle in the house, stay in one room, have air cleaners, and make all kinds of accommodations for the non smokers. I don't smoke in non smokers homes or cars, or near them. I don't even smoke where everyone is gathered, in my own home, I go in the bathroom, or my bedroom. I try to be as accommodating as I possibly can be.
"They're the ones making the insurance go up so high." Yeah? And? I listened to the cigarette commercials as a kid, and no one ever mentioned addiction or cancer.
I quit drinking after twenty years, it's been thirteen years now. I have not taken a drink for anything, or any reason. And yet, cigarettes have more of a hold on me. And just think, I can go into a restaurant, not be able to smoke or drink, while I watch people getting hammered with their keys in their pockets. And no nasty looks! No one gets a nasty look going into a liquor store, but don't be leaning on a pole outside, smoking a cigarette.
Why can't people realize that smokers know we are risking our lives, in the same way polo players do, athletes, boxers, cops, firemen, military, and just about all of humanity. However, on top of that risk, we are addicted to nicotine, and we like the process of smoking. That doesn't mean we should get dirty looks. I shouldn't feel "less than" because I smoke. I'm not less than. My children shouldn't be ostracized because their mother smokes, but they have been.
Both my kids used to pull their t shirts up over their head in the car when they were learning what to do in school, and now, they've both smoked. It's to their advantage that it's so expensive. I just want to be treated like a normal, nice, spiritual, honest, humble human being, and not just before I put a cigarette in my mouth, WHILE I have a cigarette in my mouth. I won't contaminate you, I'll make sure there is plenty of ventilation, but if I should do the unmentionable, out in your backyard, don't automatically change your opinion of me. I'm putting rolled tobacco in my mouth and smoking it, for God's sake.
Hey, how about I won't treat you any different when you have too much to drink and beat your wife, and drive drunk, risking lives, and I won't treat you any different when you cheat on your wife, and I won't treat you any different when you talk your prejudiced bull, and I won't treat you any different when you put down your kids, and if I do all that, how about you treat me the same if I light a cigarette, especially since I am a conscientious smoker, and keep my smoke to myself? I keep my cigarette butts in a pouch, never on anyones property, not even my own. And please tell your kids to stop looking at me as if I am an alien. I am real, people, a throwback from the seventies, and I am addicted to nicotine, and I am going through a rough divorce, and maybe when it's over, I'll be relieved and calm enough to stop, but until then, do you have a light?
This Article has been viewed 1,299 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)Sue , I have never been addicted to cigs so I'm very lucky, but for those who do and manage to quit they deserve a HUGE GIGANTIC medal. Saying 'No' to things you want is incredibly hard. Especially when easily accessible and your body is saying 'Give me one, give me one'. I have had cravings so I do know how it is to have try to resist and what is worse is that you seem to want more what you can't have! I hope you manage to succeed in your goal. I know people who have seen hypnotists and have never looked back. They never had the 'I want ones' that I describe above. They just hated cigs for ever more. That is a good place to be I think. But I hear it does not work for everyone. Not sure why this is. Anyway good luck to you, and hang in there.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi leah,
i never got your message until the last message on this page came through, and i saw i had unanswered messages.
i quit last april, so, even though i think smoker's should have their rights, i no longer do so.
my best to you,
suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
hi cre, thanks for reading my article, and commenting. i went on your site, and it's really nice. i will try to read more and comment more as time passes, and i get some more writing done. you seem like a very nice person, and i appreciate you taking the time to read my stories. i will do the same when i get a little more "stable" as this divorce is bringing me down, and i need to write. you should be proud of your site. best regards, sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Sue, I began smoking at 13 of course at that early age I had to sneak them from my mother. But in my early life while growing up in the 50s almost everybody smoked. You watch some old “I love Lucy” movies they smoked I mean really smoked inhaled, It was real. In those days the people who didn’t smoke you wouldn’t trust unless they were women my mother never smoked but all her children did and my father as well. I smoked for 40 years before I quit. It’s been 5 years now and although I though I’d never be a person who would quit I never get tempted to have a cigarette at all any more. The secret to quitting is you’ve got to really want to quit. I’ve always enjoyed smoking that’s why I’ve never quit. But yes I agree Susan smokers are good people, don't be ashamedPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Its good to see that someone posted an article saying that smokers are people too. People who think less of someone because they smoke cigarettes can kiss my ass. I dont smoke and i never will, but i can see how prejudice and close minded people can be towards smokers. Its just like a form of racism, you know? Hate someone because they are different? Look down on someone because they are a different color or look down on someone because they smoke cigarettes...whats the difference?Please log in to respond to this comment.hi brent,there was a glitz, and i just received some comments. thank you for saying the truth.a table of 8 are drinking mixed drinks like water, along with wine and champagne, and then they are going to drive home, but i can't have a cigarette? a lot of those who drink become violent, and i'm a bad person because i smoke? i think not.thanks for reading and commenting,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Susan, I totally agree with you here. I smoked since I was seventeen years old. I tried to quit 4 times before I was able to actually quit. Quitting smoking for me was so much more difficult for me to quit than alcohol. Oh yes, I have had many vices in my days. hehehe. Let me tell you what I did to finally break the habit of smoking. Well, it helped that my aunt died from Lung cancer at the age of 50 and my grandpa died from emphysema in his early 60's, both smoked. I did not want to be another statistic like that, besides my three sons were hiding my cigs, crushing them, throwing then in the garbage, and all kinds of stuff like that. I finally, set it in my heart (committed myself totally) to quitting at a certain time. I did not stop all of a sudden with the notion I would never ever have another cig, I just told myself that it really was time to stop this messing around with my health and quit. So for several months every day, before I actually quit, I would tell myself how bad cigarettes were for me and that it was going to be time for me to quit. One day, I woke up, and I put my pack of cigs in my closet, in case I wanted one, and I prayed for God to help me with my temptations, and I never had another cig since. What really helped me was I did not tell anyone that I was going to quit, I just kept it to myself -- that way, I did not have to deal with the guilt and remorse from my family encase I relapsed. I have been told that I could never quit smoking, now think about how that sounds. Also, don't be too hard on yourself if you do relapse, everyone does. Take it one day at a time, set it in your heart and mind that one day soon you will quit, and meditate on the word for comfort. I know that one day you will finally be able to let that darn smelly cigarette go for good! Take care and God bless!Please log in to respond to this comment.
thank you angie, going through a divorce, not being able to drink, and then quitting cigarettes is a bit much for now, but it will be eventually! thanks for reading my article and responding, best regards, sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.
thank you April, As I have told my daughter, who bums a cigarette from her friends once in a while, and says, "she can stop anytime" i said the same thing when i was twenty one, and haven't stopped since, and i'm 51. nasty, expensive, but oh so satisfying habit:) thank you for reading my article and responding, and especially for the plea of cradling! best regards, sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Sue,
I am a person! I have been smoking for 13 years, I don't plan to change that anytime soon. I have thought about quiting many times, because of the nagging people around me. I still smoke because I like it and it is a stress reducer (I understand it is a mental game). Yesterday, I was told that certain people don't want to work with me due to the smell of smoke. This is discrimination all over. I am not a Nazi, Commie, KKK member, or the death bringer of all. I smoke! If non-smokers don't like it stay away from me. Yes, I understand that it is bad for me and the general public. What isn't these days? My microwave or cell phone will give me cancer too. I try to smell better, stay away from people, be polite, and respectful. Example: I am at a fair, I want a cigarette. I walk out of the crowd to a deserted area, non-smokers start flocking towards me. Then start coughing! What is with that? These people can see and smell that I am smoking why would non-smokers walk near me then? I will tell you, they don't have anything to complain about in that moment. People like to tease, bother, pester, put down other people! I am a good person that smokes! GET OVER IT NON-SMOKERS!
Sue thank you, I am happy to know that there are others like me in this world. Thanks! Hows it been lately?Please log in to respond to this comment.hi,
i agree with all you said, especially outside. we no longer can even smoke on school property, so when we have to sit there outside for 3 hours of a baseball game, no smoking.
i actually quit last april, but for no other reason than i couldn't afford it anymore.
thanks for reading and commenting,
good luck,
my best regards,
suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.