What Not To Say To A Menopausal Woman
Posted: Saturday, October 27, 2007
by Susan Thom
The most absolute negative comment you can give your wife or partner when they are going through menopause, is…"Gee, you look like you’re nine months pregnant." I hear some states are considering making an exception for murder for those comments. If I was a man, I would first check to see if there are any large holes dug in the backyard, or an anvil by the bed, before making such statements.
Another reason for this empty pregnancy, may be stress. The more stress, the more bloated you become. I have found this to be absolutely true. I have talked to my doctor, my nurse practitioner, other women, and my reflexologist about this problem, and those are the two answers I received: menopause and stress.
Even more delicate the situation. I know what it looks like to be pregnant, I had three kids, but twenty three years later, I didn’t think I would still look as if I was ready to give birth. When I am calm, and have worked things through that were bothering me, my stomach is flatter. When I am uneasy and worried and tired, I am like a fifty one year old woman in my ninth month! And about this, I can not be more serious, I don’t need to be told I look like that!
How many pants and shirts do we go through to find the perfect outfit that will camouflage our staunch? Extra large is embarrassing, and only needed to reach around my stomach. Yes, many of us gain a few pounds as we get older, but the pregnant look is unique, and only women who have it know exactly what I mean.
How interesting that we go through menopause because we don’t need to be pregnant anymore, and while going through that process, we look pregnant!
I have 3 month days, 6 month, and 9 months, depending on the interfering menopause, or the amount of stress I’m under.
If it were simple weight gain, it wouldn’t change size, this mound of skin that is sometimes hard as a rock, and in times of ease and a lightening of the menopausal cycle, flat and just a little "loose." If I ever missed being pregnant, I’d be able to walk by my mirror on any given day, and feel quite comforted, but I don’t! I hate it, I fight it, I swear at it, I cry at it, and I want it gone. If I walked, it would be better. I’ve tried exercise, muscle is heavier than fat? I saw no results. Maybe when I decide to exercise again, I’ll give it 2 weeks!
I love to write, but I am not doing anything to metabolize fat, by sitting at my computer. My mind might be getting exercise, but my body feels like a lump on a log. So, I will continue to fight the bulge, fight the embarrassment, fight the annoyance, fight the shame, and continue on, waiting for it to go away? However, let the secret be revealed here and now, we women do not need to be reminded of our stomachs looking as if we are a month past our due date! We know! A simple, "You look nice honey," would bring much more favorable results.
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)Sue, so much truth in your article. I enjoyed the humor interjected and dispersed throughout. No further comments about the tummy. You said it all! Thanks for a great article!Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi avis, i hope all is well, i tried to throw in a humorous article for a change. thank you for reading and commenting, i'm glad you liked it. my best regards, sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hey Sue! Although not menopausal yet (though I wish I were... ahum...) I enjoyed your article and will certainally be on the "lookout" for that belly problem when it comes... Like you, I too am constantly in front of the computer due to my business and have definately packed on a pound or two... doesn't help that I love tootsie rolls either but... Fun article, Miss Sue!Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi judi, thank you for reading and commenting, the battle of the menopausal bulge, no way to change it but wait it through. i hope you are taking care of yourself, my best regards, suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Cute article, Sue. I am still trying to get rid of my baby fat from my last pregnancy. (More than a decade ago.) I think someone could make a fortune coming up with a clothing line just for this! Long live a lycra waistband.Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi mary, i told you a while ago you should have your own comedy act. you remind me of joy behar, and i really like her. i'd come and see you, that's for sure. judi? david? avis? probably all of us. thank you for reading an commenting. the baby fat from 3 pregnancies over 17 years ago, is under the menopausal fat! my best regards, sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.
bloating = bread try going without bread for a couple of weeks and see if the bloating reduces.Please log in to respond to this comment.
i don't even eat bread, cre. stress and menopause, and no desire to exercise. all my fault. i don't eat right, either. coffee, creamer, it all adds in. hey, thank you for reading and commenting and suggesting, please don't stop. i hope you are over the loo mess. my best regards, suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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