Susan Thom

How Do The Gears Of Your Mind Work


Posted: Sunday, January 06, 2008

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I was Blessed to have parents who taught me right from wrong, and good from bad. I also had my grandmother and two aunts on the other side of our duplex who helped in the raising process. All were honest, fair, and spiritually strong. My mother was so intelligent in her interpretation of how one should live their life, especially her kids. She abhorred dishonesty, and would not allow it in her home. She was a care giver on this Earth, between her family and her patients, as a nurse. She guided the way the gears of her children's minds worked, and tried her best to instill morals and principles into our way of thinking, and she succeeded. Her loving nature and straight forward approach to life helped our gears turn in the right direction.

I brought these characteristics with me into the world, and quickly found that not every person had the same dedication to truth and responsibility. It was confusing and difficult, but life is confusing and difficult, and I had to deal with reality at an early age. Friends would lie or tell stories about others, and I would wonder where their mother's were when they were growing up. Girls would act maliciously towards other girls, and I never could figure out why. There was no malice in my home growing up, and it was quite a shock to see how others thought and behaved to get what they wanted. My father had a quick and hot temper, but he never came from a place of malice, just anger and frustration.

I learned that sometimes, boys cheated on their girlfriends behind their back, and sometimes, girls cheated on their boyfriends. This was a mystery to me. Why consider yourself in an exclusive relationship, and then go behind that person's back? It seemed that so much of what I was taught was lacking in the middle and High School kids I would watch and listen to during class, or in the lunch room. However, that was their lives, and I continued my mother's training, and never cheated on anyone I ever went out with. I never went out with anyone I didn't care about. I was just trying to make it through that period of my life in tact, with my morals and principles strong. I had a best friend I could count on, and I was dating someone on and off, and the time I had left, I actually went to school!

Honesty is so important to one's character, and to the way the world turns. I don't mean someone's opinion on things, but real truth. Unfortunately, there were some who didn't know what real truth was. Maybe it wasn't an issue in their homes growing up. My grandmother was very influential in my raising, and I never knew her to lie. She would call the phone company or Sears, where she had an account, or the electric company, if she thought there was a discrepancy in her bill. She always had right on her side, and she always got off the phone with good results. She didn't lie to them, she simply told the truth, her bill was too high, and she wanted to know why? She was firm, and strong, and righteous in her honesty. When you are telling the truth, you can afford to be righteous.

So many glimpses of how to do the right thing, as I was growing up. The only problem was my confusion in why other people didn't behave in the same manner. I decided not to worry about other people, and just keep working on myself as I learned and grew. This was easy to do, having all the right principles instilled in my psyche, but it was hard dealing with the world, and all inhabiting it. My best friend remained, and my on again off again boyfriend, and my family, and by now, working at Shop-Rite after school every day. I never understood other's negative actions and I wasn't getting any closer to any answers. Where were people's understanding of spirituality and integrity and self respect? Where were people's sense of duty and responsibility? And civility, that was the problem with so many I witnessed, they couldn't or wouldn't be civil to one another.

I guess that's why I've stayed pretty much to myself. I was able to live in the country, while I had grown up in a city. I was able to stay at home and raise my kids and keep the world pretty much at bay. I still caught glimpses at softball or basketball games, when I could hear the gossip going through the bleachers. It was so annoying to me, I wondered how would those people like to be the one being talked about? Now, two of my kids have moved to the center of cities!, and my youngest is in High School. Luckily, he doesn't want to play sports. I have my good friends who I can trust, and my kids, and my house. I don't have to deal with dishonesty and lies with my partner. I can count on him and care for him and enjoy his company. I feel safe with him, and that's a huge gift. I just wish more people would have the tenacity to stick to the basic truth, not just their interpretation of the truth.

Everyone sees things through different eyes, but there is only one truth. People need to realize that and adjust to it, not adjust the truth to their way of thinking. It may hold water for a while, but eventually, the truth shines through. We, however, do not live in a perfect world, so we need to discern from who we are going to let into our lives, and who we will hold at bay. The less stress we put on ourselves the better for our positive energy to flow. And we can share that positive energy with our family and friends. And maybe we can influence others to be honest, respectful, and caring by our own actions.



Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, 20 and 23, and a daughter 25. Her older son is in the air force in Germany right now, and her daughter is in the army in Tacoma, Washington.

Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go by herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.

She has been on a journey of self discovery for twenty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some semblance of calm and peace within.

If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.

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