Home » Mothers..The Most Important Influences In Kids' Lives

 It's quite daunting when a woman has put her all into cleaning a home and taking care of little kids, and teaching them, and raising them, and molding them into respectful, responsible human beings. It is the hardest and most important job in the world. And yet, there are some very ignorant people who think a stay at home mom plays all day, and gets out of going out to work. I chose to stay at home with my kids when they were pre school age. I was with them twenty four hours a day, by myself, two weeks on, and two weeks off due to their father's job. Being tired was just a past time. Even when their father was home, mom was always the one they went to for all problems, or situations. It was a twenty four hour a day job, for no pay, except the knowledge that I was doing right by my kids.

Because I did so, I am not considered to have had a job for the past twenty two years. Now, that's ignorance. There were times I didn't think I could keep my eyes open, and yet, dinner had to be made and cleaned up, baths had to be given, and bedtime stories and rituals had to be satisfied. As soon as their little eyes closed, I headed for bed! Of course, there were the late night calls for nightmares, colds, and the flu. Sleep just wasn't going to be regular for twenty years. I enjoyed teaching my kids all the fundamentals, and playing with puzzles and games and cards and painting and coloring, whatever it took to stimulate their minds and allow them to be creative.

I never let my eyes off of them, I made sure they were never in harm's way, and as a result, none have had stitches, and only one had a broken arm once, while under someone else's supposed care. My nursing talents went unpaid as well. I was the one who went shopping for their wardrobes, and their toys, and took them places like the Land of Make Believe amusement park in the next town. There was a body on my hip for most of the first six years. And if, by some strange chance, I found myself alone in the bank or the food store, I would catch myself rocking back in forth as I waited in line. Everything I had to give, I gave to my kids. All the love and cuddling and punishments. I was teaching them respect and honor and responsibility and self esteem. And I believe I did a darn good job of it. Once they got into school, they excelled. I was so proud of them, and me, since we managed, against some pretty tough odds, to stick to our goals. I never thought I'd get past those stages, but before I knew it, they were teenagers, still needing the guidance to make it in this world in an altruistic, caring and honest way.

Now that all the thousands of hours I put in are mere memories, I am considered not to have had a job. I worked my tail off cleaning houses for a while, and would take my youngest in their infant seat, with a container of snacks and drinks, put a movie on, and clean as fast as I could so we could get out, make some money to put into the household budget, and be home in time for the two kids in grammar school. Then there was play time, and dinner, and homework and baths. All the responsibility for the growth of my kids was on me, and I handled it well. At twenty two, twenty, and seventeen, my kids are honest and caring and kind, and can now spot a con a mile away. However, people seem to forget that they didn't start out that way, and someone had to do the hardest job in the world, to get them to this point. I have a good relationship with all my kids, and I don't have to change diapers or tie shoes or zipper jackets.

I am proud of all the hours I put in, but because I didn't receive a paycheck, I didn't have a job! This is quite antiquated thinking, if you ask me. I could have gotten a security job, and rode around for eight hours on my butt, or I could have taken a job where I had to do minimal physical or emotional work, but I chose to be a stay at home mom, and believe it or not, I have gotten slack for it.

How dare anyone put down any mother who works as hard as I did to raise my kids, and put all my ailments and problems aside, such as having the flu myself, or Crohn's, or having my mom pass away when I had a two year old and a four year old. There were forces that worked against me, but I never gave up. I will take issue with anyone who thinks a stay at home mom plays all day, lies on the couch, and eats bon bons while her kids get carrot sticks! I worked as a mail clerk and carrier for seven years before I quit to have kids. I delivered mail in the snow and sleet and hail, and rain, walking six miles, for seven years. But when that time clock said two thirty, I could punch out, and have the rest of the day to myself. Not so when you have kids.

There is no time clock that miraculously stops them from fighting, or whining, or spilling things, or having tantrums. I know people who have never had kids, and look towards motherhood as a lazy way out of working. I can honestly tell you that delivering mail in below zero temperatures, in the snow, was one million times easier than being responsible for three little kids and a big home.

People need to wake up and realize that the homemakers and caretakers are THE MOST IMPORTANT INFLUENCES in a child's life. They don't get paid, they have a home and kids and are provided the necessities, but there is no vacations or bonuses or raises. Personally, I never could have cared less about that, but there are too many people who don't understand that being a stay at home mother is the hardest, most draining, and rewarding job in the world. Maybe if we gave mother's the honor and respect they deserve, we will have righted a wrong that has been a stigma for us stay at home moms. Hundreds of baseball games, hundreds of basketball games. When I was in bed with Crohn's and depression, and was dehydrated and malnourished, I still got myself out of bed for every one of my kids' games. That's what a mother does. We are the backbone of the next generation, and if we've done a good job, the world will reap the rewards. I know my kids will contribute to that, and I made that happen.

I'm proud of myself, I know every hour that has been spent with my kids, and I am right where I want to be, with my partner, my home, and my kids, who love me, and respect me. I have paid my dues, not received them. And for those who don't think I deserve it, well, that's your opinion, and you are entitled to it, it's just wrong and extremely ignorant.