Susan Thom

My Light May Dim, But It Will Never Die Out


Posted: Friday, March 21, 2008

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As long as I have the physical strength to do so, I will keep moving along this road of life I have been given. It's my road, determined by God Himself, and I will do my best to be worthy of such a Blessing. There is a lot of physical work, emotional thinking, and heartfelt energy needed to handle life's ups and downs, but it can be done if you are stubborn, and motivated, and on a quest for happiness and peace. A candle will burn out, I will not. If something doesn't work out right after I have put my all into it, then I say to myself, "it wasn't meant to be."

My thoughts on how things should be may not always be my Maker's thoughts. After many years of being angry and depressed when I've been disappointed, I finally came to realize that maybe what I wanted was a human need, and God, in His infinite wisdom, knows better. I had a beautiful '74 t top white corvette when I was 23. I was too young to be careful, too young to know not to drink too much and then drive. Therefore, in a few short minutes, I had my vet, and then, I didn't. At the time, I was upset, angry and disappointed. I have come to learn that maybe I wasn't ready for such a fast car, and I needed to grow up before I knew how to be careful. My vet burned out like a candle, but I did not.

When my mom passed away in 1989, my light dimmed quite a bit. I was devastated and couldn't handle the pain. I tried alcohol, prayer, and taking care of two small kids. Obviously, the alcohol didn't work, it's never a quick fix, even if it seems like it. My quick fix lasted a few years, at night, when I was alone with my thoughts and feelings of despair. Eventually, my light was awakened, and I began to live again, and not merely survive. I enjoyed my kids and my home and my life once again. A candle will burn out, but I will not.

I have a great deal of perseverance when I am determined to achieve a goal I have set for myself. Both my parents instilled this determination in me, as they were the same way. They never missed work, they helped others in need, and they were honest, hard working people who were "determined" to do what they had to do to make enough money to provide for themselves and their four kids.

There have been many times I kept at something, and it proved fruitful, and yet if I hadn't been determined, I would have given up and lost out on what I wanted. As I watch the wax devour the light in the candle, and then slowly flicker until it is drowned out, I am reminded of life, and the obstacles we must move through or around, to get what we want. Sometimes, it seems like I, too, am drowning, and can't catch my breathe. My determination keeps me moving, and thinking, and doing, until my problem is solved, or accepted. A candle will burn out, but I will not.

My light may be dim at times due to problems that come up, and must be faced, but the light never dies in my heart and soul. This life is to live, not to die. When it is our turn to pass on, we will start anew, but while on this Earth, we have things to accomplish, people to impact, children to raise, work to do, good deeds to be done.

Our light must be strong and brilliant, and offer safety and warmth to those who need our help. A phone call to simply say "hi, I just wanted to see how you're doing" can mean so much to someone who feels alone. Writing a story that others can relate to and can add a lift to their step, is helping. Sending someone a card in the mail or e mail can brighten someone's day, and it takes minutes to do. Life is hard, and problems can be overwhelming, and as a candle will burn out, I will not.



Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, 20 and 23, and a daughter 25. Her older son is in the air force in Germany right now, and her daughter is in the army in Tacoma, Washington.

Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go by herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.

She has been on a journey of self discovery for twenty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some semblance of calm and peace within.

If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.

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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)
» left by Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Arkansas 3 years 323 days ago.
247 fans.
Susan, this was such a beautiful article. I was astonished at how parallel our two worlds are--it seemed as though I was reading about myself. I had to wipe my eyes often before I finished reading it. You are such a good writer. God bless you.
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» left by 3 years 323 days ago.
sandra, thank you so much for reading and commenting. i'm glad and honored that you enjoy my writing. keep coming back, mu best to you, sue
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» left by Anonymous
 3 years 323 days ago.
Hi Sue, I love second to the last paragraph- It says it all. By the grace of God, the candle of my heart will not go out. No, not ever! Thanks for the inspiration.
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» left by 3 years 322 days ago.
hi teresa, thank you for reading my article. i'm glad you were inspired, my best, sue
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