How Does One Accept And Adjust
Posted: Sunday, March 30, 2008
by Susan Thom
I have many articles, mostly self help, and these articles are based on what I have learned on my journey through this life. I have read such a variety of books, and watched shows and gone to a twelve step program for 4 years, every night. The reality of truth abides in the rooms of those meetings. I have had a mentor for 2 years, and have gone to reflexology once a week. I know all the right things to write. And most of the time, I practice what I talk.
Or should I simply accept, and adjust my thinking by some stretch of my imagination so I can calmly assure him that I can plant more, and they'll grow in 10 years, too! I read that this I what I should do, but does that mean I am bad if I throw the water bottle? Oh, guilt will set in, as the conscience knows better, and apologies must be made, and behavior must be changed. However, bad? I don't think so. Stressed to the max, and needing to work on my emotions and reactions to them, yes, but bad, no.
But that's what that little voice inside your head tells you. And usually anyone that saw you have your little showdown. As if they've never had their little moment in the sun. Or heat. But I, being perfectionistic, have to be of what I speak, and if I should fall, hey, now I just get back up. I have so much more self esteem and peace and calmness that I discovered on my own, through my books and other tools. The only action I haven't been able to accept and adjust to is unfairness. I loathe it. I have a deep seated aversion to things and people who are unfair.
When something is unjust, or prejudiced or biased or wrongful, I don't know how to handle my emotions and sometimes, my actions. This stems from birth, because I remember in school, feeling angry if someone was being treated wrongly, either by another kid or a teacher. I abhorred prejudice and never could understand it, and still can't. What difference does it make what color a person's clothes (skin) is? It's ridiculous if you really gave it some time to think it through. It's color! My daughter's hair is blue and yellow, and black in front. Colors. Should I disown her? Banish her to hell? Stop loving her? Not save her from a fire if I could? It's insanity to me.
Unfair hits hard, for many reasons. It was not fair for my father to argue with me and belittle me like he did. And, because he was bigger than me, I had no choice but to take it. I had some things stolen from me around 16, and I didn't think that was fair. My father yelled a lot and made people cry, and I didn't think that was fair. If I see someone take something of another's because they think it's their right, I don't think that's fair. Being treated differently just because you're you, definitely isn't fair. These are things that are hard to accept and adjust to. Maybe things such as this aren't meant to be.
Just because we are adjusting, doesn't necessarily mean the rest of the world is. There will be times when anger is going to come out, and oh no, maybe a few swear words, maybe even some things you don't mean to say. If 75 % of the time, you are pleasant, helpful, giving, caring, and likable, I think those are some good odds for living in a world with other people. I am at 85 %, no just joshing ya. I am getting close to about 60, and still working on myself.
I need to be strong and balanced enough in my mind, body and spirit to be able to get to that 75 %. My confusion to have to be 100 % has been worked out in my head. My balance is getting more even. I've learned a lot about myself, and I like who I am. Even that, I will need to accept and adjust to.
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