Susan Thom

So Much Disturbance Can Wreak Havoc In One's Life



Posted: Thursday, April 10, 2008

by Susan Thom



So much disturbance can be created in life. Different situations happening, different relationships, the world going crazy, kids driving us nuts, money problems stressing us out.There are people we may not get along with at work, neighbors we may be estranged from. We might be dealing with disabilities or health issues, or not making enough money to make ends meet. Maybe we are going through a break up or a divorce. There are so many circumstances that can set us up for a challenge. It's not the circumstance that's important, but rather how we deal with it. It's not easy to stay calm, and remain dignified in stressful situations. Sometimes, we can't. There's always that last little nudge that pushes us over the top. The top being the limit of our character we wanted to stay within.

What is your limit? Do you yell and scream every day? Are you nasty and petty at the office? Do you hold yourself in higher esteem than anyone else? Do you expect others to do more than you? Or are you actively working on being a better person? One who carries themselves well, does the right thing, is honest? Someone who gets down and dirty on occasion, but gets back up, learns from the situation, grows from it, and doesn't repeat the same mistake again. Is your limit physical abuse? Emotional abuse? Someone talking down to you? Someone being unfair? The challenges present themselves. Something has happened that has pushed you to reach your limit. What do you do? How do you deal with a problem in a clear headed, calm way? As I said, sometimes, I can't. Things are just so bazarre, my mind skips a few beats for a while. I can't take in the enormity of the situation and the fear, pain, disappointment, shock, panic and anger I feel. I'm learning how to contain those feelings, and work through them, and I'm not stuffing them down into my soul, where anger, and resentment harvest. I'm simply doing what I can about each given situation.

With each setback in my life, I get stronger. I've been on the other end, when I was so weak I almost couldn't get out of bed, and i had 3 natural childbirths, and raised 3 children, so I know both sides. I'd rather deal and not conceal! From knowing how one way of existing felt, I was able to make changes to strengthen my resolve, and deal in reality. Many times the facts brought me to me knees, but only as I accepted the situation, and figured out what to do about it in a positive way, did I stay within my limit. It gets easier to simply accept, and know that the best thing will happen.

We obviously are going to get angry, but we can train ourselves how to do so in a calmer way. It's not easy, but I have proved to myself over the past year that I can control myself, and that's a big accomplishment. It hasn't always worked, but it worked more times than not. That's the challenge, to keep one's composure, more often than you don't. I slammed my little toe into the dining room table and broke it. Yes, it hurt, yes, I wanted to swear and throw something, or bite through my tongue, but instead, I simply showed my partner and daughter, and asked, "Is my toe supposed to look like this?" It had separated into a wide v shape. There may have been a time when I would have been swearing and jumping up and down, and crying it hurt. But, I have learned to control myself in a calmer fashion.

The challenges of life are not going to go away. If we don't learn how to deal, we'll live a life of negativity and plotting, manipulation, anger and greed. All in an effort to escape reality, and the very challenges we were meant to face. The biggest challenge my son is facing now that he got his license, is how to drive carefully, number one, and to know when it's safe to make a turn in front of oncoming traffic. He has a challenge in front of him to become a good driver. I know he will, he's very careful and focused. He will live up to his challenge. We all need to figure out what our challenge is at the time, and find a way to handle it productively.

There are times when your last nerve gets stepped on, and you become the "Monster you", and you spew your words, and scrunch your face, and later, you make amends if you can, or care to at the time, and you are back to your spiritual self. I used to beat myself up over those times. I don't anymore. I'm human, I make mistakes, I can preach better than I can practice, I know this, but you know what? I'm trying. I'm really putting effort into trying, and those around me see me trying, and I know my Heavenly Father knows I'm trying. So, people can take from me, and try to harm me, and live their lives to cause me pain, but no one will ever get the part of me that challenges all, my soul. The Light hasn't died out, and it won't.



Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, 20 and 23, and a daughter 25. Her older son is in the air force in Germany right now, and her daughter is in the army in Tacoma, Washington.

Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go by herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.

She has been on a journey of self discovery for twenty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some semblance of calm and peace within.

If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.

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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)
» left by Teresa Ortiz
 4 years 36 days ago.
188 fans.
Hi Sue, well said. And your last paragraph, I agree! I call the "monster" me my evil twin. But making ammends is always the best thing to do when we blow it. But as we grow in grace, I would hope that the monster in us starves and chokes to death. :-) Keep standing strong! Much love to you.
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» left by Anonymous 4 years 36 days ago.
hi teresa, thank you. i'm going towards the growing in grace. the more go through this life, the quieter I seem to become. my best regards, sue
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