How Do You Put Yourself Back Together
Posted: Thursday, May 01, 2008
by Susan Thom
I have found that there are two ways to get through this life of ours. One is to let everything and everyone cause you harm and pain and distrust. The other is to pick yourself up from whatever it is that has you feeling you have been destroyed, and rebuild, reinforce, and reinvent yourself. Oh, chances are no matter how strong you may have been before your world fell apart, you will need help in rebuilding it.
As an example: " Autoimmune System: Laughing on the outside, but crying on the inside, feels totally helpless, have given up, and deep seated grief."
When I was diagnosed with Crohn's 14 years ago, those were exactly the feelings I was having.
"Fatigue: Resisting life, feeling bored, not enjoying your place in life, experiencing burn out in one's job or relationship."
"Stomach problems: Our sense of security feels threatened, fears new ideas, lack of affection, condemning the success of other people, unhappy feelings."
"Overweight: Feelings of insecurity, feelings of self rejection, wanting to protect the body, seeking love and fulfillment, attempting to fulfill the self, feelings are being stuffed inside, unexpressed, mis-perceived & inappropriate feelings."
"Insomnia: Tensions in life, deep seated guilt, feelings of fear and anxiety, reaction to potential threatening situations."
I made a list of all my physical ailments, and went through those 24 pages, writing down anything that applied to me. Then, I started working on the feelings I obviously had inside of me, but wasn't aware of before that time.
There are also concepts that you can use to strengthen your mind, and body. If you feel like: "I must be poor in order to be humble/close to god." The anecdote to that would be to talk to yourself, and tell yourself that "I feel humility, gratitude and closeness to God even with financial success and abundance." And, "I fear having to prove myself." The anecdote: "I feel confident in my abilities and my worth. I feel capable and confident."
Everything is in this book. I bought mine in 1993, and have been on that journey ever since, with great strides and improvements. This book was the catalyst I needed, and it just kept spreading from there.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. The Crohn's was with me to stay, but there were things I could do to keep it at a minimum. Those things were to explore my feelings, deal with them, correct them, and move on. The more I did this, the better I felt.
Friends that I ran into would tell me how good I looked. This was compared to how bad I looked when the Crohn's was active, and no one said a word about how I looked. Oh, but they all knew! I still have it, it still drains me, I still suffer during times of stress, or if I overdue it, but I'm not in bed 24/7, as I was for 2 years, twice in the past 14 years. There was a great deal of stress going on in my life from the time I was a kid, and it is just starting to ease up, at 51, so I had to work on myself with desire and commitment.
All the hurt, all the frustration, all the loss of control, all the sadness from my past had to be worked out. It wasn't an easy task, and there was a lot of crying and feelings of hurt that had to be revealed, before I could make amends with people and situations when warranted, and carry on with my "education" in this life. It truly is a journey.
And I don't believe it ever stops. I use reflexology as an added boost to my well-being and my balance in life. it has helped immensely. If I'm going to live in this world, I want to live in this world! Without all kinds of pent up emotions, causing me all kinds of physical problems, been there, done that.
I still get drained, it's the nature of the disease, but at least it's not out of control. If I were to reread every book I've read, it would probably be as if I was reading them for the first time, however, the information I needed was stored in my being, and I know how to respond to life in a much calmer and happier fashion. Oh, I do slip sometimes, I'm nowhere near perfect, but I no way want to be, either. I just try to be a good person, do my job of keeping the house clean, the laundry done, the food stocked, and the errands run. And to be here for my kids, always.
What we feel inside, will work itself outside, and we will act upon those feelings, whether good or bad. We will either cry out of relief, or out of pain. Some people don't care to look at themselves and see their character faults, and don't wish to do anything about them. They're "Just fine." Unfortunately, if you ask the 5 people closest to them, you might hear a different tune. I don't believe anyone is done learning on this Earth, until you die, and then, it's a whole new way of learning, but it's all learning.
I don't want to be stagnant in my personality. I want to improve things I don't like about me, and continue with the things I do. I want to be proud of myself, and I want God to be proud of me. It's not easy trying so hard all the time to focus on the positive, let things slide that make you angry, stop yourself from saying something you'll regret, keeping your mouth shut when someone else is angry and taking it out on you, but the enrichment to your peace of mind is worth every bit of it. You just need to tell yourself, "It's not worth it, I'm not getting involved with this." If you work on yourself, you can't help but enrich your journey in this life. Letting go isn't giving in, it's just protecting your feelings. Life will be easier, more productive, and happier. At least, it has been for me, and for that, I am grateful.
This Article has been viewed 632 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Yes Sue well said, until you open up that little storage box in your heart of hearts where all those hurts are kept that only you know about and realize just how unique a one of a kind person you really are in all creation you will nevr be happy. Those who hurt you are the ones with the bigger problem. Let them go and go find your true calling. Believe is the word. Best Wishes,Please log in to respond to this comment.hi robert, thank you for reading and responding. that little storage box, as an adult, started out through many circumstances, to be the size of Mount Rushmore. but i kept chpping away, and results have been quite satisfying, but not without a lot of hard work. thank you for understanding, best regards, suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.