Susan Thom

We Can Always Start Over If We Desire


Posted: Friday, August 22, 2008

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Life is filled with so many levels of development. Of course, we are born as babies, and are quickly taught all the yes's and no's of the world. We are cared for in every way, our minds stimulated and learning every second. We learn to play, to walk, talk, and slowly become independent of mom and dad. The pre teen years are a bit out of whack, as our minds and bodies adjust to moving to another stage of development, teenagers. I think this is the hardest stage, with so many thoughts and questions and hormones swirling around our humanness. The more freedom we have, the more trouble we can get into. The outcome of our future weighs heavy during this period of time. Getting into trouble with our parents or the police can lead to having to go to court, or being grounded, and having that newly achieved freedom taken from our grip. The actions we take can haunt us later on in life.

Alcohol and drugs seem like a new experience we are now entitled to, but if we aren't careful, these escape mechanisms can lead to addictions, more trouble, and a hollow life. In the worst case scenarios, an overdose could kill, and even drinking too much could easily cause getting sick and choking to death. Parents may be the best in the world, and still, the need for something different and unique, drives teens to try dangerous substances, since they are in that stage of thinking they are immortal, unfortunately, that isn't true. No matter how many times we parents warn them of the dangers, we aren't with them when they decide to jump off cliffs on a dare, or take a drug from a friend, "just to try it." When it comes time for their licenses, parents are worried about their driving too fast, or under the influence. Our teens think they are invincible, and it's not always certain that they will follow the "rules."

The twenties are a time of reflection and wondering what they are going to do with their lives. Where will they work, how will they pay for rent and all they are responsible for? There may even be thoughts of how good it really was living at home. Their problems are now their own, and they need to work them out. This, of course, only leads to more worrying, wondering if our skills at parenthood have sufficed. As they go into their thirties, hopefully, there will be more stability and maturity to acquire a good job, a nice apartment or house, a husband or wife, and little ones running around. However, what if their maturity level hasn't risen? What if they still want to play, instead of being responsible for a home and family? Arguments begin to happen more frequently, the kids are being affected, and things seem to be going downhill. Jobs are lost, cars are repossessed, and the family is in a chaotic state that is not moving in a positive direction.

There is a solution that can and will work, and it's called change. We can all do it, if we desire. When I was thirty eight, I stopped drinking, with the help of God and a twelve step program, after twenty years of drinking. The knowledge I received in the meetings in church basements, began a change that is still occurring after almost fifteen years. I read one book after the other, everything from alcoholism to self help, to near death experiences, to spiritual books. I was involved to the point of speaking in front of crowds of people, and telling my story, in the hopes of helping another who could relate. I learned that I didn't need alcohol to fill an empty hole in my soul. I could reason it out, and make amends where possible. I attended 1,620 of those meetings, and I remain sober today.

I started over at thirty eight, and I have been on a journey of recovery ever since. At fifty two, I am still learning about myself and others. I have been thrown into a position I know nothing about, and I have gotten through the most difficult past two years of my life, a) without a drink, and b) with a better attitude, and a more focused mindset. I have been writing articles for over two years, first, in an attempt to keep me busy, and then, as a past time I relish.

God, in His infinite wisdom, always seems to give me just what I need, when I need it. I love this site and the people I have met, and the articles I have read. I am still the same person I always was, only now most of the garbage has been removed from my soul, and I move forward to better days ahead. I feel lighter, prouder, happier, and more worthy of what God wants me to do. I still have negative obstacles to go through, but I know God is with me, I have new friends, a new past time, a partner and children I love, a home I feel at peace in, hope for the future, and it all happened because we can always start over if we desire.



Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, 20 and 23, and a daughter 25. Her older son is in the air force in Germany right now, and her daughter is in the army in Tacoma, Washington.

Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go by herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.

She has been on a journey of self discovery for twenty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some semblance of calm and peace within.

If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.

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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)
» left by David Tanguay
 3 years 142 days ago.
184 fans.
Good inspirational article Susan, those of us in our 50s have had similar experiences in our lives.
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