Balance Is The Key To Peace
Posted: Thursday, September 11, 2008
by Susan Thom
I have always had an energy pushing me along, forcing me to live life a little too quickly. Always jumping ahead of the gun. Answering, before the question is finished being asked. Worrying about tomorrow, and erasing today. Focusing on the doctor's appointment at 3, from the time I got up, and learning to make appointments early in the day. When I was 12, I couldn't wait to be 13, a teenager. When I was 13, I couldn't wait to be 17 so I could drive. When I was 17, I was reaching for the drinking age of 18. Never satisfied in the spot I stood. My mind, body, and spirit were never aligned. My mind was thinking one thing, while my body was doing something else, and my spirit was lost beneath the layers of anxiety.
Twenty three years of fear and anxiety and frustration and sadness, since my dad was my hero and I loved him very much, regardless of his demeanor. I knew I still wanted his love and respect, and not having it, was affecting my own personality. I had a chip on my shoulder, and flicked it often, especially when plenty of alcohol had been ingested to try and hide the pain. It never worked, and only made matters worse. So, I was aware I had to come to terms with my dad before I could really start to heal. I managed to do so, and was told he loved me and was proud of me, and that made all the difference in the World. The anger was lifted. The constant frustration was gone.
Now, on to other things that kept me off balance. I had to change the way I thought. "Things" that used to anger me with intensity, had to be interpreted in my mind in a calmer way. In the realm of things, it didn't matter to the point of anger, that I had just burned my favorite blouse with the iron. I didn't have to get mad when the bottom of the grocery bag broke and the groceries went everywhere. It's understandable to be annoyed as I picked each item up, but anger that hurts the heart, mind, and soul, is uncalled for, especially over trivial "things." I had to get to the bottom of the pain that triggered that behavior, and correct it, and once I did, I could accept the trivial things much easier.
Other habits changed as well. I was able to listen to someone talk, and not interrupt. There wasn't that nervous energy pushing me ahead at lightening speed. I could wait my turn! I was calmer with my kids, my tolerance level was raised. I didn't get aggravated as quickly. I was working towards balance, and I was determined to get there. I started reflexology sessions, and a whole new world opened up. I felt better, and my reflexologist is very wise, and would talk to me during part of the massage, and I would learn more of how to think in a focused way. I was not used to doing so, my entire life, and now, at 50, it was finally starting to come.
A tidal wave hit my life, and thrashed it around for 18 months, but it's back on track now. I feel in balance, but what does that feel like? It feels like meditation, only all the time. My mind is at rest, my body needs reflexology, and my soul is reassured, and whole. It is a foreign feeling, especially recently. It feels good, soft, warm, enlightened, and calm. So many lessons had to be learned to get to this point. So many emotions felt. So much fear to work through. So many decisions to make. The steering of the mind; pushing it away from fearful and negative thoughts and trying to keep it within a positive frame.
God allows to happen what He believes to be best. We need to figure out how to deal with that, whether in be in a positive way or a negative way. If we can keep our beings balanced, the ride through life isn't as frightening. Balancing allows our minds to focus, and think things through and make the right decisions. It keeps us from feeling hurt as deeply as we could. It tolerates more of life's ups and downs, and isn't as frustrated by misfortune. Nothing is ever going to be absolute, not good, or bad. The easier we deal with reality, the calmer our lives will be.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Hi Sue.Very well written and very good points made. I am glad that you have found balance; hopefully, one day I will too.DiannePlease log in to respond to this comment.hi dianne,thanks for reading and the nice compliments. it's been a long road, but i'm getting there.it's really just a matter of working through the baggage, and shifting your mindset so things don't bother you like they used to.you'll get there, and i'm here if you ever need anything,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.Hi Sue.Thanks for the offer of support! I'm finding it harder to change my perceptions than I thought; just stubborn I guess. But since I want balance and happiness in my life...well, they say that if you are clear about what you want, you will eventually get it. I hope so anyway.with respect,DiannePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi, Sue. Your new-found balance is showing up in your writing--you sound happier and more stabilized. I'm glad you're back on track. I know our prayers have helped.Great article--well written and says it all.SandraPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi sandra,thank you for your comments. i'm glad my articles sound happier. they will sound relieved now, that's for sure. i'm glad i could write articles while i was a lady in waiting:)my best regards to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Yeah Susan as that old saying goes "live and learn" we must keep learning and learn from our mistakes.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi david,yes, as long as we're living, there's time to learn from our mistakes.thank you for reading and responding,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Sue,You're right about having a balance in your life. I've tried for years to strike a balance between fishing and golf, but the lure of the water is stronger than the delights of trying to make par. You're writing has risen a couple of notches. Keep it going!BobPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi bob,i'd pick the water, too.thanks for the compliment.i'll keep it going,best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Sue! An article with many good points written in your wonderful, heartfelt style. It's been said, that retirement should occur in the reverse because by the time you achieve the point of life where "you can relax" you're either too tired or unhealthy however when in our youth we usually don't yet have the wisdom or sense to know what to do. As with me, you are young enough to begin again with a more focused and peaceful perspective and I've a feeling that now that the worst is over in your life we will be hearing about many wonderful things happening in the life of our Miss Sue Thom! Bunches of hugs to our "Jersey Girl"!Please log in to respond to this comment.thanks judi,now that the shock is subsiding, i'm actually starting to feel happy, and that hasn't happened in a long time.thanks for reading and commenting.tell laura she takes good pictures!,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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