Perception And Truth Don't Always Add Up
Posted: Wednesday, February 11, 2009
by Susan Thom
How many times is our perception and the truth one in the same? And how often do we stick around long enough to hear someone else's perception of their truth? We perceive what our mind tells us to, but it ain't always necessarily so! How many people have we left behind, not knowing what our motive, or our truth is? Do we back up what we say with facts, or do we shoot from the hip?
From the time we are babies, we are being told no, don't touch. Do we really have any idea why we are being told not to touch aunt Sophie's twenty year old Pieta on her nightstand? Would we understand better if we were told it was a gift from her late husband, and it has gotten very brittle over the years? Could we then perceive why we can't touch it? Not if we're not told the signifigance..
I always tried to explain to my kids why I didn't want them to do something, so in case I wasn't around, they'd still leave what I held valuable, alone. I don't have expensive things, but I do have knick knacks that I am fond of, and they weren't to touch them, they had their 2 million toys to keep them busy. Once they knew the reasoning behind my "demands", it was easier for them to ignore my things.
So many people misinterpret other's actions, and unless they talk it out, and understand where the other person is coming from, the playing ground is unfair. If one is aware, these misconceptions happen all day long. A new employee talks to no one their first day, and no one in the office will approach them. In reality, the truth is this person is nervous and shy and their heart was beating out of their chest all day.
I always tried to explain to my kids why I didn't want them to do something, so in case I wasn't around, they'd still leave what I held valuable, alone. I don't have expensive things, but I do have knick knacks that I am fond of, and they weren't to touch them, they had their 2 million toys to keep them busy. Once they knew the reasoning behind my "demands", it was easier for them to ignore my things.
So many people misinterpret other's actions, and unless they talk it out, and understand where the other person is coming from, the playing ground is unfair. If one is aware, these misconceptions happen all day long. A new employee talks to no one their first day, and no one in the office will approach them. In reality, the truth is this person is nervous and shy and their heart was beating out of their chest all day.
Once they get used to the way the office is run, and what their job description is, they laugh and joke and help those in need. The perception of them was different than the truth. Have you ever walked around in an empty house, looking for a new home, wondering if all of your things will fit, only to find out that the truth is you have more than enough room?
How often have we given parties or hosted barbecues, and hoped we had enough food, only to live off the leftovers for a week? Our perception was different than the truth. Have we ever hit the garage on the way in? Our perception was not accurate, it wasn't the truth, just what we believed to be the truth. We believed we were going to clear the outside wall!
How many of us know someone who has a big beautiful house, 2 nice cars, 2 great kids, 2 dogs, 1 cat, and a seemingly storybook existence? Friends, relatives, and neighbors all envy your lifestyle, and then they find out things weren't so hot in never never land, and a divorce follows, the house goes, and the 2 kids are with mom in a small apartment in a different town, or state. The general public's perception was based on how things looked, not how they truly were.
Now with a new President, everyone perceives what he believes in, what he will do, what changes he will make, but we don't know what will really happen until he does. The truth is, he is his own man, and he will run the country as he sees fit, not how we perceive he will. Preconceived ideas will only disappoint. The best thing is to take it slow, find out all the facts, and then, try to put yourself in someone else's shoes.
The man you pass everyday, who asks for change, is a bum in your eyes. He doesn't want to work, but "He'll live off of us, well, he won't receive anything from me." He probably has lice in his hair, and he must be lazy or he'd be able to find a job." In reality, the truth is, this man worked in the coal mines for 20 years, until one of the mines collapsed, killing all but him.
He had 12 broken bones, and while healing, his wife of 40 years had a stroke, and was in a vegetative state in a hospital ward. All the money he had saved all his life, went to paying the out of pocket for his wife's treatment. She died, having never regained consciousness, and now, he was flat broke. He didn't want to impose on family or friends, and he was depressed to the point of wanting to take his own life.
He lost his apartment, his cat, his belongings, and now slept under a bridge, only collecting enough money each day to eat. And all those who past his "station" perceived him to be something he was not, he just happened to look the part. The truth is he was a broken man, just trying to live out his life until he either died, or sought help to get back on his feet.
Life is constantly being perceived by our brains, but is it being perceived correctly? How often do our kids perceive one thing, when there is another reason we are telling them no? Almost always. If we tell them to clean their rooms, they have no idea why, mom's just a "fanatic." Little do they know they are being trained to be on their own, and all they learn how to do at home will come in handy when they are.
Mom is not the ogre they think. She is preparing her kids to live a good life, to be independent, respectful, clean, and proud of their things. Once they do move out and get their own place, "Thank you" rarely comes to dear old mom, but they know in their minds and hearts. They now know that the one person they perceived to be the bully, was really a loving mother trying to teach her kids all the right things.
We need to remember that just because our minds perceive something to be true, it doesn't make it so. We can't create the truth, we simply need to follow our minds and hearts and live our lives in the best way we know how. Making sure our perception is the truth before we speak, or act, will go a long way in keeping us grounded and nonjudgmental.
How often have we given parties or hosted barbecues, and hoped we had enough food, only to live off the leftovers for a week? Our perception was different than the truth. Have we ever hit the garage on the way in? Our perception was not accurate, it wasn't the truth, just what we believed to be the truth. We believed we were going to clear the outside wall!
How many of us know someone who has a big beautiful house, 2 nice cars, 2 great kids, 2 dogs, 1 cat, and a seemingly storybook existence? Friends, relatives, and neighbors all envy your lifestyle, and then they find out things weren't so hot in never never land, and a divorce follows, the house goes, and the 2 kids are with mom in a small apartment in a different town, or state. The general public's perception was based on how things looked, not how they truly were.
Now with a new President, everyone perceives what he believes in, what he will do, what changes he will make, but we don't know what will really happen until he does. The truth is, he is his own man, and he will run the country as he sees fit, not how we perceive he will. Preconceived ideas will only disappoint. The best thing is to take it slow, find out all the facts, and then, try to put yourself in someone else's shoes.
The man you pass everyday, who asks for change, is a bum in your eyes. He doesn't want to work, but "He'll live off of us, well, he won't receive anything from me." He probably has lice in his hair, and he must be lazy or he'd be able to find a job." In reality, the truth is, this man worked in the coal mines for 20 years, until one of the mines collapsed, killing all but him.
He had 12 broken bones, and while healing, his wife of 40 years had a stroke, and was in a vegetative state in a hospital ward. All the money he had saved all his life, went to paying the out of pocket for his wife's treatment. She died, having never regained consciousness, and now, he was flat broke. He didn't want to impose on family or friends, and he was depressed to the point of wanting to take his own life.
He lost his apartment, his cat, his belongings, and now slept under a bridge, only collecting enough money each day to eat. And all those who past his "station" perceived him to be something he was not, he just happened to look the part. The truth is he was a broken man, just trying to live out his life until he either died, or sought help to get back on his feet.
Life is constantly being perceived by our brains, but is it being perceived correctly? How often do our kids perceive one thing, when there is another reason we are telling them no? Almost always. If we tell them to clean their rooms, they have no idea why, mom's just a "fanatic." Little do they know they are being trained to be on their own, and all they learn how to do at home will come in handy when they are.
Mom is not the ogre they think. She is preparing her kids to live a good life, to be independent, respectful, clean, and proud of their things. Once they do move out and get their own place, "Thank you" rarely comes to dear old mom, but they know in their minds and hearts. They now know that the one person they perceived to be the bully, was really a loving mother trying to teach her kids all the right things.
We need to remember that just because our minds perceive something to be true, it doesn't make it so. We can't create the truth, we simply need to follow our minds and hearts and live our lives in the best way we know how. Making sure our perception is the truth before we speak, or act, will go a long way in keeping us grounded and nonjudgmental.
This Article has been viewed 431 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)Dear Sue, a wonderful article! I think many relationships fail because one or both perceive things in ways never intended and not true. We can be so on guard to protect ourselves, to assume things, to believe our own assessments without patience to find out more. That kind of self-centeredness can blind us to more. I do not say this judgmentally, but as fact, for I did that a lot for many years BC. I especially liked the vignette you put in about the man asking for money, and the love he had that eventually got him there. Thank you for writing this!Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi jane,thank you for reading and commenting.i have noticed for years now, that what one says to another doesn't always carry the truth, but more the other's interpretation of the truth.a man stops to help a woman change a flat tire, and the whole town has him having an affair. could this man not have been taught to help his fellow men AND women?i think some like to stay in their interpretation land because there is more excitement and drama there than in reality and truth.i hope all is well,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Sue, there is a quote that says: "A person's perception is their reality." And I believe it is a true statement. It's what they choose to believe .... and what they choose to perceive about something or what they see. I am not re-writing your article but supporting it. As you've stated, perception and truth don't always add up. The reality they see can be false and what a wake up call when enlightenment comes. That's what Jane spoke of. This flowed very well and chronologically to deliver your message. It's a lesson about truth. Thank you! Warmest hugs, Avis.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi avis,thanks so much for reading and commenting.there are those who hate others and try to do them harm, and they've never even met that person, they just perceive them to be what others have told them. pretty stupid, but true.i have also heard the saying perception is your reality, and i understand that, such as in my believing my mom can let me know things are going to be okay by a cardinal (her favorite bird) showing itself in times of need. my reflexologist told me, whatever my perception is, is my reality. this is harmless. no one will get hurt because i think this, and i have been greatly helped. however, if someone lives alone, and thinks they are living in Hawaii, instead of new jersey, and they perceive their little jungle habitat out back is their Hawaiin retreat, their perception IS their reality, but it's not the truth.now, i have some cocunuts to gather, thanks for stopping by,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
I am so proud of you--You have come a long way baby--Nice work--You are truly talented and I am honored to have you in my life----Your Maria xxPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi maria,thank you for reading and commenting.now you only have over 400 articles to go :)love you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
I really enjoyed your artcle. Thank you for sharing.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi linda,thank you for stopping by and reading and commenting.i truly appreciate your support,best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Susan, Very well written, very well thought out, and very well said.....perception can either get us into allot of trouble, or be our salvation. I have been wrong in my perceptions before, only to exclaim "Well, how was I to know"?? You are right in raising your kids the way you are. My mom raised me the same way, and I am hear to tell you that your kids will remember....they will thank you....they will know that you taught them the things you did out of love. One, as you know, only has ONE mother, you can't replace her imprint on you. Mine will be with me forever....in a wonderful way, even now that she has moved on to a better place, her imprint is still with me.....always. I love your article, and it reminds me of my mom, you love your kids, it is in your writtings, and your work......Your kids will always remember, and your imprint on them is forever......Your friend in pen, and your fan.......Gary.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi gary,thank you for reading and taking time to comment.my mom sounds a lot like yours, and yes, she has been my foundation all my life, and even though it will be 20 years on the 22nd that she has passed, i talk to her all the time, and i "perceive" she is listening :) her teachings still inspire and keep me on the right track.my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Well said, Miz Sue. 'Perception' is subjective...and once we get that part, we can have a look through 'someone else's eyes'...perhaps even through God's. This is what I believe Jesus was talking about when he said "...turn the other cheek". He wasn't talking about letting people walk all over you...he was talking about PERCEPTION. Thanks for sharing!Please log in to respond to this comment.hi camille,thanks for stopping by.i witness over and over again the untruths that people spread because of their "percerption" of a deed or action. don't necessarily make it so! :)the biggest one on my list?stay at home moms don't work.let me at 'em.have a good week,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.