I Raised A Son, But He Became A Man Alone
Posted: Saturday, March 14, 2009
by Susan Thom
No matter how many years a mom and son share together, the road to manhood is often traveled alone at some point. Often times a son leaves for college a boy and miraculously returns a man. All the hard work that precedes this change may be happily realized as a mom listens to a man talk politely and respectfully. The boy that may have talked back or kept a messy room, or did poorly in school, suddenly manifests into this person of character and charm. It is surreal and enlightening at the same time. All the talks about honesty and cleanliness and spirituality and altruism, suddenly appear in the man you call son.
Gates guarding the stairs are replaced with thunderous sounds of a hundred and fifty pounds running down the flight of steps in a hurry to go nowhere in particular. Bedroom doors are kept closed and cars take over while bicycles are thrown to the back of the garage. Icky girls become the center of the universe and all of a sudden, clothes become extremely important. Moms are good when needed, but never around friends. More and more time is spent out of the home, and before most of us are ready, our little boys are maturing and moving out on their own. The world is theirs to experience, and the feeling of loss is inevitable.
I am in Texas as I type, after having the most pride filled day of my life yesterday. My son, who is twenty one, graduated from the air force academy at Lackland air force base. I didn't think I'd be able to afford to go, but a few very dear people made it possible for me to attend. I hadn't flown in thirty years, and never wanted to again. However, I knew where I needed and wanted to be, so I surprised my son, knowing he felt bad I couldn't make it. The weather was colder than when I left New Jersey , and raining, so the graduation was outside of one of the buildings, under an overhang. I spotted my six foot three son in the very back row, and stayed discreetly out of the way.
The boy that wouldn't keep his room clean was now stoic and standing at attention. When the ceremony was over, I got to him as quickly as my feet would carry me. As I approached him, he looked at me with a blank stare for about thirty seconds and finally realized who he was looking at=mommy! His words to me were, "Oh my God, you made it!" My reply was simply, "I wouldn't be anywhere else," to which he said, "This is the best present I've ever gotten." Little did he realize the best present had just been given to me! He was dressed in his camouflage, and returned to his dorm to change, and returned wearing his "blues," complete with hat.
He looked so handsome, and I didn't know how I'd be able to contain my excitement, pride, and deep affection. He was walking the walk and talking the talk. My aunt had graciously driven me to San Antonio from where she lives about four hours away. We took him to a restaurant, where he had a turkey club, and he said it was the best sandwich he ever had! The same held true for the brownie, vanilla ice cream and whipped cream! He had completed the hardest things he ever had to do, and he passed. And his mom was there to see it, just as it should have been, and against all odds. God has a way of providing when you are simply trying to do the right thing.
The hardest thing of course, was saying good-bye. I cried as I held him ever so tightly, and told him how proud I was, and how much I loved him, and then, it was time to watch him walk the walk back to his dorm. He'll be leaving for Mississippi on Monday for vo tech, and only God knows where he will be sent. And only God can protect him. However, I will pray for him and his welfare, and wish him the best. My boy went away for 8 weeks, and most definitely became a man.
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More commentsSue-This was a beautiful story!! I can so imagine every moment! I was so happy I was able to see you today in person!! It is a memory i will remember forever! You are such a fun, sweet person!! I am so happy you got to see your son graduate!! Love ya lots, LauraPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi laura,i am still brimming with happiness over all that i've been able to do on this trip.today was wonderful, hard to believe, almost like a dream.i wish i had a couple of those onion rings :)thank you and rob for taking the time to come and meet me.your kids are adorable.as far as being sweet, i think it takes one to know one :)you are a sweet and caring person, and i am grateful to consider you a friend.tomorrow, i fly home.i'll talk with you then,my best regards along with hugs,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Sue.To echo Laura's words, this is a beautiful story! It is absolutely wonderful that you could be there for him. But beyond that, your description of the transition from boy to young man to man was inspiring.Hugs!DiannePlease log in to respond to this comment.hi dianne,thank you for your warm comments.i think when i get home, i'll post my son's picture in his "blues" and hat on my articles.it was a wonderful and gratifying experience for me, as well as my son.and i got to visit with my 2 aunts and an uncle who live near Houston, and I haven't seen in a long time.i think i'll be reliving my memories on that wonderful day for a very long time.stay well,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Sue. Your story took me back to when my wife and I drove to South Carolina tro see my son graduate from boot camp. We were ushered into a gymnasium where a large screen was playing an Army video, talking about how boys become men. Let me tell you, this big ol' Shrek-like guy was just about to lose it.Your job as mom is not over, just changing form. This is a very touching and moving article. Thank you.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi ken,yes, it was a wonderful experience.and lackland air base was huge, and very impressive.i took pictures of all the planes, and buildings.i'm glad you enjoyed the article.thank you for reading and commenting, it is always appreciated.my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
What a wonderful story. I can only hope to convey life stories the way you do. Thank you for sharing.Linda DPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi linda,what a lovely compliment, thank you.i appreciate you reading and commenting.i think the more i write, the better it sounds when i read it back.it's taken many years, and i still am striving.i hope you continue doing the same,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Dear Sue, your words already gripped and moved me and then the tears arose about the time you got to Texas. God bless you and your son on-going, and the dear people who made it possible for you to witness your son's completion of the first big stage of his new air force life. You do not take credit, but I know that your love and care day by day made a difference toward this outcome. God bless your son and you in this special relationship between you. I could go on and on. Thousands should read this beautifully organized and expressed writing. Moms and dads who read it will surely be encouraged as they bathe, pick up after, car pool and give so much other time, time and time again, to precious little boys slowly, undetectably, moving toward manhood.~JanePlease log in to respond to this comment.hi jane,this experience was definitely one of the perks of being a mother.i personally think there is a chance to reach peace through learning how to communicate in a way that would promote it. i will worry for the next 6 years, however, his future shall hopefully be bright, and his respect abundant for himself as well as others.and yes, i id raise him to be just that way :)it is a lot of hard work being a mom, if you want to make a difference in their lives, and not just play, cuddle, but know the balance. it was nice o see the fruits of my dreams and desires for my so realized.i am not my kids friend, i am their mother, and there are lines i won't allow crossed.thank you for reading and commenting Jane,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Excellent story, Sue. Thanks for sharing it with us. I enjoyed getting to know you and your aunt over lunch. I could see how proud you are of your son. What a great surprise for him to see you there! I'm glad you got to take the trip. And, again...please tell him "Thank You". I appreciate that he is willing to serve in the military.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi lorrie,i got home around 6 p.m. tuesday, and my son called around 8. he wanted to tell me all about his new surroundings in mississippi, and give me his new i pod phone number. at least now i'll be able to communicate with him.i believe we all want our mother's love, and i wanted to make sure he could carry the stength he got from knowing what i had to go through to get there, with him for the rest of his life. i know i've gotten to where i am knowing how much my mother loved me.i thank God for leading me towards going, and for allowing it to be just as i had planned.i loved meeting everyone.there are so many positive things that have come about since i began writing for searchwarp, and i will be eternally grateful,my best to you,suep.s. your e mail isn't listed.Please log in to respond to this comment.Hey Sue, I had just never added the email option. It is active now. :-)Please log in to respond to this comment.
Sue, the tears are rolling as there is a smile aross my face. Very heart-warming. I feel your joy and can imagine his delight. What a blessing indeed! Thank you for sharing this story and congrats on being the highlight. It is well deserved.Side note: Jealous you got to meet some of the crew! (Very happy for you too.)Hugs,tPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi t,thanks for reading and commenting.i had a great time.it was simply meant to be.i could feel God's blessings over and over.my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Although I can't relate to the military way (Canadians have not been all that military minded since World War Two) I can certainly relate to the feelings of seeing the child you love become a man. I wish him much success in his career choice and pray God's protection on him.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi david,it was bittersweet to see the confidence and respect my son now shows the world, and it helps knowing he can make good money.the pitfall, of course, is if he has to give his life or limbs for such.i believe God will protect Him and keep him from harm, with much appreciated help from our angels and spirits that have passed, such as his grandparents on both sides.thank you for reading and commenting,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Being a mother of a nineteen -year- old son, I could identify with much of what you said in your article. Thanks for sharing Susan!Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi brianna,it is a very difficult challenge, but faith, and the knowledge that he is doing better in the service than he was out, i just have to hope that he excels and his job doesn't take him too close to enemy lines, although, he could have fallen off the ladder at home depot where he worked before.faith, and a whole lot of love. at least i can call him, or vice versa, and we e mail each other. thank you for reading and commenting, and relating to my feelings,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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