Have You Played The Blame Game
Posted: Tuesday, March 24, 2009
by Susan Thom
It never ceases to amaze me that we of the human race, will try to blame everyone else but ourselves for the situations we find ourselves in at any given time. This "blame game" starts as soon as we learn to talk. We hand the dog our favorite stuffed animal and then blame the dog for ripping it to shreds. The fact that we freely gave our pet something it would of course, chew on, doesn't seem to cross our minds. Nope, it's spike's fault.
Why is that? It's so much easier to blame others, instead of accepting our part, and thinking of the circumstances as a lesson to be learned. Yes, there are people and situations that can push our buttons. However, once we learn to keep the focus on ourselves, and improve upon what we can, life becomes more simple, easier. I remember my mom warning me about a friend I had 24 years ago. I paid no attention, and this person stole a ring from me after watching me put it away, and I have never seen the ring nor the person since.
I was so angry with this girl for stealing from me, I wanted to find her, beat her up, and get my ring back. I did nothing, but eventually learned that if I had been a little smarter, a little more attentive, and a little more focused at the time, I would have seen what my mother saw. I had made the choice to be this person's friend, and that was on me.
The healing process was much easier once I realized I could improve my attention and awareness, and not allow something to happen like that again. I could learn and improve my thinking skills, but a grudge against this girl could negatively eat at me for life. That's what the blame game does. It keeps you in a negative holding pattern, and creates stress, impatience, anger and heartache.
You can't change somebody else who did something inappropriate, but you can change the way you deal with it. It doesn't take them off the hook, just off your hook. Their own karma will take care of them, it's inevitable. I believe we experience a life's review when we die, where we experience every emotion we ever caused another person, and who they also affected as a result. The more we can learn on Earth, the shorter our review.
Until we stop blaming everyone and everything for our problems, we will be constricted in living a peaceful and happy life, I believe. It's not even the coffee pot's fault for overflowing. You know you didn't push the pot in all the way. Would it make you feel better to smash it? There would simply be more of a mess to clean up. When the neighbor knocks on the door to see if you need anything at the store, are you going to be mad at them? Or did you stay up way too late the night before, and were sleeping at two in the afternoon?
I find nothing wrong with staying up too late once in a while, or taking a nap at two in the afternoon. However, I don't want my mind to race to anger at the neighbor who came out of the kindness of their heart, at a reasonable time of day. I took no precautions to drown out the sound of the doorbell, I left no "do not disturb" signs, and I didn't go up to my room and close the door.
Therefore, it just happened, and I can either go back to sleep, or wait for my regular bedtime. This saves a feud between the Hatfield's and McCoy's and draws my focus to one fact. If I don't want to be disturbed, I have to go somewhere in the house where the doorbell will not affect me. I learn something positive for my growth, and I dodge the old blame game. I feel at peace instead of riddled with anger.
It's not easy, and sometimes the anger rises before the common sense sets in, but the knowledge of the fact that we can change our mind, our thinking pattern, and our attitude, is a good thing. The blame game can only be won by our opponent. The only one we are responsible for is ourselves. It's our mind, body, and spirit that will be touched by other people and situations. Until we can find our part in the blame, we won't be able to find the peace we all so desperately seek.
This Article has been viewed 1,144 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Very true Susan, we must focus on ourselves and our role in the blame game. good articlePlease log in to respond to this comment.hi david,thank you.it's so eay to blame others, and yet, they say everyone gets something out of what they do, even those who believe they are the martyrs of the world=everyone is against them. they play on others sympathies, never pointing the finger where it rightfully belongs, at themselves.thanks for reading and commenting,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
What a great article, Sue. Our society has definitely sunk to an all time low of blaming our problems on everyone else. Great job here!Please log in to respond to this comment.Sorry, this is from me!!!Please log in to respond to this comment.hi ken,it's so much easier to blame someone else or something else, but that doesn't allow us to grow and thrive and take responsibility for ourselves.it's a good personality trait to be able to keep our part in mind in any given situation.thanks for reading and commenting,it is always appreciated,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Sue.Along with blaming others, it seems that so many people are just waiting for others ("them," "they," whoever) to fix their problems. (A little bit of a mess with the indefinite pronouns, but I hope you understand my meaning.)What you have said is so true. I've always felt that the best indicator of whether or not a person is an adult is that she is able to accept the consequences of her actions and not lay blame at someone else's doorstep. By that definition ... well, as a nation, we might be in a lot of trouble.Thanks for sharing your insight!Hugs,DiannePlease log in to respond to this comment.hi dianne,the experiences i have been through have been very painful, but they allowed me to think, re examine, and push towards a more positive light. i can only do so by keeping myself in check, and what i may have done to cause or help negative situations to happen. they say, "talk about what you know!"life is a two way street, acceptance, or blame.i think acceptance is the way to go in order to survive.thanks for reading and commenting, you are always appreciated,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Sue, great job! We humans have been playing the blame game since the days in the garden. Eve blamed the serpent and Adam blamed God for giving him a woman. It will be this way til the end of time. But thankfully, each of us has the choice to get out of the game and make life better for ourselves and the people around us. Excellent job on this piece! Blessings to you! tPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi t,adam who? :)i noticed the other night while walking into the kitchen, that my 18 year old had gotten cat food out of a bag on the shelf, and was happily playing his video game. too bad there were about 20 pieces of cat food on the kitchen floor. i was annoyed that he just left them there, and asked him why he didn't clean up after himself?he asked me why i was talking to him like a dog?i apologized, and explained i would never treat him like a dog, i was just frustrated that at 18 he didn't know enough, or was too lazy, or too much in a hurry to get to his game to pick up the cat food on the floor.we both had 2 different perspectives on the same situation.now, if Eve were here, she would have just tossed an apple at him! :)thanks for reading and commenting,i always look for your responses,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
The futility of blame. I have met the enemy and the enemy is me. Thanks for the article.Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi linda,good saying!thank you for reading and commenting,i truly appreciate your time,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.