First We Deal And Then We Heal
Posted: Saturday, May 23, 2009
by Susan Thom
Whenever situations arise that take a great deal of focus and concentration, we tend to worry more about the outcome, than to figure out how to deal. The cards are there, the hand is dealt, now what? There is always something or someone to deal with in life. First it's our parents, siblings, family, then friends and teachers, and then the whole rest of the world.
If we clean up our toys, we go to the park. If we do our homework and get good grades, we might get a savings account or some type of reward. We may not realize what is happening, but we are dealing with life's little obstacles, and preparing to deal with even bigger ones further down the road.
The longer we put off making amends with someone we argued with, or apologizing for breaking mom's good china bowl, the more pressure, guilt, and shame we feel. No one can be of any real positive good to anyone when they are filled with such oppression, least of all themselves.
Some interference's with our lives are small in comparison to others. Some can simply be talked out or worked out, and we can move on to our next project. Other problems may be harder on our mind, heart, body and souls, and the dealing process is complicated. The answers take a lot of thinking and mediating and decision making.
We may have a health problem we've physically dealt with, but not mentally. Our appendix may be out, and we're back to work, but the invasion has never been addressed. That period of lost consciousness is never attended to, and yet, we feel something just isn't right. I think that's because we must deal, and then take the time to heal.
The healing process is rarely thought about, so we remain wounded. We may play our part, and do all the normal things we do, but until we think about how a situation affected our whole being, and work it out until we feel healed, residual pain will affect us. Just because the action is done, doesn't mean the feeling is gone.
If a baseball player gets hit with a speeding bullet of a ball, and sits in the dugout, just because the ball is no longer near him, doesn't mean his arm doesn't continue to hurt. He can put ice on it, get a shot, stop the pain, all ways of dealing with the problem. However, if he starts to shy away at the plate, he hasn't healed and may need to get some help to do so.
Everything is so fast paced, coupled with embarrassment to admit wrongdoing or defeat. Deal with it later, heal with it, never. So many ways to avoid working through emotions. That usually hurts too much. Better to let it go. No, better to deal with it and heal from it. All of this is my own opinion, but I am speaking from my own experience.
We may have an argument with a friend, and words are said that are not positive, and we later make up. We dealt with the separation by rejoining, but did we really forget about the words that were said? We may need to simply say to our friend, "I'm sorry we argued, and the things you said really hurt me." Hopefully, they'll apologize and say they didn't mean them, and then, we can erase them from our memory and move on. We're healed from that particular incident. We may still remember, but it doesn't bring about the same pain. Healing is so essential to our total well-being, but it is talked about so little.
Sometimes, others won't participate, but we can work through a healing process on our own. We can talk it out in our own head, and balance things out, come to terms with the matter, and let it go. We can heal our own feelings and get out of the negativity. It's so much easier to deal with life's ups and downs when we are focused and strong in our convictions.
We can only be strong if we are at peace with all that matters to us. Life is hard for most of us. Anything we can do to make it easier for ourselves, can't be bad. We have to take care of ourselves, and make sure everything in our lives are in the order, and the way we want them to be. Our minds are clean, our bodies feel okay, and our souls are praising God.
We deal, we heal, we move on again to feel.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Words of wisdom Susan, nicely done.Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi david,thank you.someone has told me that wisdom comes from experience.well, i've had plenty of that.my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Good article. Thank you SusanPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi linda,thank you for your time, reading and commenting.i appreciate it.i'm glad you liked the article,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Very nice. Great advice, especially to those who rush to judgement or hurry to fix someone else's house before their own is in order. Well done.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi michael,thank you for your compliments and for reading this article.i don't knowif it's good or bad, but experience is the best teacher!my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Sue,What a wonderful article! It is so true, that we need a more holistic approach. More problems arise when health issues are "physically dealt with, but not mentally."Great job. Your writing is awesome!Please log in to respond to this comment.hi ken,thank you for your kindness, and support.there is nothing easy about life, and the more we go through, the more we learn.i hope my experiences can help others.my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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