What Keeps Life From Breaking Me
Posted: Tuesday, August 25, 2009
by Susan Thom
Many have tried to take away the essence of who I am and what I stand for. It matters not who they were or when, just that it happened many times, and by many people. Many of those who tried had problems of their own, and I was simply a way to unleash their anger. It wasn't personal because they treated others in the same way, however, for whatever reason, I seemed to be incapable of not taking their anger personally.
For the first 23 years of my life, my dad was angry, tired, and always aggravated. Our arguments were petty, heated, painful, and nightly. Again, I was not the only one to feel his frustration, but I seemed to be the one to which it mattered the most. I know it was a learning experience, but I suffered greatly in the process. I guess that's a pretty good description of what life is, a process.
Eliminating those character flaws and crutches and attitudes that develop when we have no control over what others think and say, is a journey to enlightenment. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong. Oh, we think it does. Our pride stands firm, and our will remains strong. In the long run, words mean nothing. However, to learn which words to say that mean something, means everything.
To avoid inappropriate behavior, no matter what someone else says or does, is the truest form of self control and something to be proud of. My son just went through it in bootcamp. Sometimes, we need to be broken in order to be fixed properly in the present, no matter what the past has done to us. This doesn't take brute force or physical touching. It takes time. Time to think in a better way to react in a better way.
Time to realize that another human can say that we are fat, or ugly, or stupid, and we don't have to end up in jail! We don't even have to raise our voices. We simply need to think clearly, and avoid what is brewing before it lands. I know someone who recently lost a job because of the way they reacted to an irate boss. Their pride was hurt, and they let their anger over that get the best of them.
That doesn't pay the mortgage or all the other bills. Is it really that important to stand up for yourself? Words flung your way don't need to affect you in a manner which only hurts you. This boss will pay his mortgage, and drive his car, and sleep soundly. We have to have enough Faith in ourselves, and know who we are and what our mission is in order to "turn the other cheek." This is not an easy task.
A commitment to a better life, a less painful and more productive one, has to be made and adhered to. This doesn't happen overnight. Babysteps are stepping stones to a whole other way of living life. Less stress, less heartache, less worry, and more peace. The first time you spill a can of soda all over your bed, after you've decided to start changing, you'll have your chance.
Don't swear, don't get angry, simply take the blankets and sheets off and throw them in the wash. You'll notice how much better you will feel. And you'll have a nice clean bed that night, even if you hadn't planned it that way. If someone cuts you off, pray that they won't kill themselves or others in an accident. Learn what is important, and what is not.
A heated discussion on which fruit is the most delicious, is a total waste of everyone's time. And that time is ticking by every second. Who cares about petty nonsense? Do you? I no longer do, but I've been through a lot of petty, as well as intense, nonsense. It's just crap, plain and simple. So much of it can be avoided.
Almost every single human being loses their temper every now and then. Some more than others, some less. I have a family member who rarely lost her temper, and she is 95, if that's any indication. Stupid things didn't matter to her. She just wanted things to run smoothly, and for everyone to be happy. She laughed more than anyone else in our family, and only she remains.
No matter who has tried, or what has confronted me, I am the best I've ever been, because I made a commitment to myself to change. I lose it on occasion, but I expect that. I merely try to do better. And I succeed. I know who I am, and what I believe, and I know that what I believe isn't bad. If I'm wrong, I'll pay the price at some point.
I've been broken before. Nothing worked. Not my heart or my mind or my body, and it was Hell on Earth to me. It has happened several times in 53 years. No more. I've simply had enough. Each incident, every set of circumstances, helped prepare me for the next. Not that I was aware of this happening at the time, but retrospect is a great tool.
I will deal with life and all it brings to me in a calmer, more positive way, and deal with the problems as they come. They're never going to stop. There will always be something. Some big, some small, but all can be addressed in a way that doesn't bring me down to the levels they have in the past. I am determined to continue making progress.
Life may be hard, and I may be hurt or angered, but my will to be a good person, and lead a happy life, will keep it from breaking me.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Your title says it all Susan (life can't break me) everyday we are faced with many obstacles in life that can set us back. It's up to us to keep a cool head and work through the hardships we face everyday.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi david,i appreciate your time and comment.i thought i responded, i must have done something wrong, sorry.yes, life seems to be the teacher or pre school, maybe, for what lies ahead.sometimes, it's hard to keep our heads above water, but lessons learned can help the process and make things easier.no fun at th time, but less hurt in the future.my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
I love your articles, I am new to this community site and have resolved to read lots more of your stuff. I agree, life won't end because of the stupid irritations, so why get so upset. For example, my ex husband was a complete idiot, but we still work to stay friends. Why? Because without him, I would not have our wonderful son, who needs his dad in spite of his imperfections. What ever the old man may or may not have done, he adores our lad and deserves to be a part of his life.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi marjorie,welcome to searchwarp, i think you'll really enjoy it.thank you for the compliment, and i'm glad you can put your feelings aside for your son. that is true grace under fire.thank you for reading and commenting,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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