Let It Go When you Have No Control
Posted: Thursday, September 17, 2009
by Susan Thom
I think a lot of life is spent figuring out what we are in control of, and what we have no control over. Will we be able to crawl over and grab that toy out of the dog's mouth? Presuming this is a kind hearted and baby oriented dog. If the dog doesn't separate his teeth, no matter how much we tug, we have no control over that situation. We can sit there and cry, or we can move on and play with something else.
We can control how warm we'll be when we go outside. We can have our down jackets and earmuffs and hats and boots and scarves. Even though we can't control those cold temperatures, we can make the best of them. Did you ever have a favorite CD that you just couldn't get enough of? Then, one day, as you are listening to your favorite song, it starts to skip. No control-can't fix it.
Sometimes, we just can't save something from doing what we don't want it to do. We set the iron down on a piece of clothing, and it scorches it. No control-nothing can be done. We stare at amazement at our favorite blouse or trousers, and they'll never be worn again. Acceptance is key to keeping our blood pressure down. We can look at it as a good reason to buy a new outfit, if we can.
Taxes go up on everything from property taxes to cigarette, alcohol, gas, and food. Our money is not going as far these days. We can be angry, but that doesn't do anything to help. It's really out of our control. If we stopped buying all these things, the prices would undoubtedly come down, but it would take every family to do so. Having no control over every family, acceptance is the only real thing we can do.
Girls cut their bangs by themselves for all time. There are, however, those times the scissors just don't cut where we thought they should. Crooked bangs. No control. Gel them back, cut them all short, or accept and wait until they grow back. The loss of control in one area, may strengthen you in another area. You might have been shy, but having to walk around with zigzag bangs, made you feel strong and powerful. This came from simply letting go and stepping outside your norm.
When someone has cancer, and they know their hair is going to fall out, more and more, they are shaving it before they have to go through watching it come out. Now that's really letting go, knowing you had no control over your hair falling out. And yet, it took courage and strength to allow the world to see that your hair doesn't define who you are.
When the electricity goes out, and you're right in the middle of an article, and dinner is on the stove, and a cake is in the oven, and your favorite show is coming on, no control, acceptance is the only key. When your computer goes down, and you haven't had time to back it up, and you lose everything, just accept it.
Sounds easy, but I've been there a few times, and I know that nothing I can do is going to get back all my work I've collected. I can calmly sit back and resign myself, or I can go into a frenzy, which isn't going to help, by the way. I did learn the lesson of backing up all my work, however.
Once in a while, my dog gets loose. Once he's gone, I have no control where he goes, or when he'll be back. Again, I accept what's happening, and I wait for the result. Luckily, within an hour, he's usually back from saying hi to his buddies. When a deer runs right out in front of us, we have no control.
We just have to hope that we'll be okay, and the car won't be too damaged. When things are out of our control, worrying and getting mad aren't going to change a thing. However, acceptance and the knowledge that things happen for a reason can help us lead a calmer, more peaceful existence. It takes practice, but it can be done.
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)The key to acceptance is knowing what you really can't do anything about and seeing the opportunities that come from your brief moment of non-control...for instance, that shirt you scortched may be recycled for use in a scrapbook, or a quilt square, or even a halloween costume. And if you are shaving off your long hair, it is an opportunity to donate to Locks of Love. So after acceptance, there are always opportunities for something better.Thanks for writing this. Some people (including me) who need to be reminded that sometimes it's not necessary to be in control all the time. Things will turn out alright.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi sarah,thank you for reading and responding.you are absolutely right, we can recycle, and we can change and move on in a better way. all lessons learned.welcome to searchwarp, i hope you love it as much as i do,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Good article Susan, yes we must learn to accept certain things in life. But we make the best of it, we just can't always win.Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi david,thank you for reading and commenting.acceptance is a big help to our personal happiness.if we can accept, we can deal easier.my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Great writing, Sue. I'm trying to remember a saying your article reminded me of, something about accept what we cannot change , change what we can, and have wisdom to know the difference?Please log in to respond to this comment.
And it helps so much, during the crunch, if we can remember that Jesus is in control and to rest in that. But sometimes getting caught up in the angst of the moment we forget to "give it" to Him. MarijoPlease log in to respond to this comment.
hi marijo,you are absolutely right. but i tend to have to reach my lowest depths before i remember that. i hope to turn that around.thanks for reading and commenting,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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