After Emotions Are Stripped
Posted: Tuesday, November 10, 2009
by Susan Thom
Whenever we go through a traumatic incident, our emotions seem to short circuit at times. Maybe we haven't felt sorrow in a while. It hurts. It hurts the heart, our feelings, our mind and our soul. They're all affected. The pain isn't like a broken bone or a deep cut. It is a continual grinding of our gears, confused, afraid, hopeless and hopeful.
It's hard to focus or concentrate while going through hard times, and it's a blessing if you have someone who can help you. However, whether you do or not, you'll have to adapt to dealing with life's different scenarios. For myself, once I go to the bottom of anger, or resentment, or any feelings I may have, and really possess them and work through them, and use my mind to will myself to do what I need to do, I am on the road to recovery.
That time, anyway. However, when the emotions get stripped over and over again, they seem to become numb, and they don't get in the way of making a decision. It's more cut and dry. Less words are used. Less emotion to confuse things in our minds. Less crying! More matter of fact. I haven't lost the ability to be happy and surprised, angry and sad, I simply have been through enough to be able to calm the feelings faster.
To be truly humble, (unassuming, modest) is one of God's gifts to us, I believe, and once you've been there, you are not the same. Trivial things no longer bother you, and you cut a lot of the frustration from your day. In my case, I had to be at a point where I was totally alone, had no choice in the matter, and had nothing to do but think. I had no car, no cell, no money, and I was somewhere I had never been. Three days later, I knew what humility felt like, and I still carry it with me.
I am grateful for every inch of this world, and most others on it. Things mean something to me now. A letter from my daughter in the army, keeps me happy for days. Before, there was too much other stuff waiting to be heard. Too much chatter. "the laundry needs to be done, I have to go to Wal-Mart, I have to call my aunt, I have to go to the post office, the bank, the a & p." No room to be calm. A lot of room to be filled with anxiety, though.
And we know anxiety just expands. If we humbly look at our lives, we can be thankful for what we have, pray for what we don't, and need. Once the emotions have been stripped, things don't hurt so much. Actually, they become silly to you, after what you've already been through. I know about the dark side of the soul, and I believe I've visited it for a time. I don't want to feel that way ever again.
So I don't get mad when someone cuts me off. I don't let words affect me in the same negative ways, I don't get nervous because I have things to take care of, I know when to rest, I know when to get fresh air, I know when to go for a ride. I know when to write, I know when to pray, and I know when to talk to my parents who have passed. Everything else, is just what it is.
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)Hi Susan-this was so good!It did me good to read it. Blessings, JeanPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi jean,how are you?thanks for reading and commenting.i'm glad my article did you some good.blessings to you as well,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
What most people don't realize, and don't want to admit is that we, as human beings, have control over our own emotions. It's not a good or bad thing or something to judge, it is an ability that we are born with. We learn not to be in control, and we allow external stimulus to be in control most of our day. Then we rely on that external stimulus to take the blame for what has happened, and we respond in the same way that we were taught. Anger is expressed in many ways, but usually from ways observed in our environment. The mode that sticks with us is what we are predisposed to accept as people, from a mix of other training we have recieved throughout our lives...each drawing us further and further away from control.Learning and skills do us no good when they aren't developed with awareness of our own emotional state, a factor that most people tend to discard as a valid and necessary part of training. And by training, I just don't mean for a skill or a job, but basic things we learn from childhood such as eating, sleeping, socializing.It is not that your emotions have been stripped, but you have been forced to look at them for what they are, a product of external stimulus with a response that you have attributed as "normal". This stripping comes from self reflection, from taking those emotions into consideration and afterward realizing that they are indeed, silly. And that all those times you followed your emotional pattern simply due to habit, you inreality, could have acted differently, but didn't.This is indeed a healthy realization and it is often ironic that we must often go through a traumatic event to desocialize our emotional being and realize what it truly is.There is a book written by William Sargant called "Battle for the Mind" which describes similar situations even happening to animals. A certain case where Pavlov's dogs stopped responding to their conditioned training of salivating to a bell after the dogs nearly drowned in a flood at the lab.I highly recommend this book, it even goes so far as to compare War experiences with Religious conversion experiences.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi geilt,welcome to searchwarp.you make some valid points.thank you for reading, and taking the time to respond,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Your last line says it all Susan, I like that.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi brianna,thanks for stopping by.i'm glad you liked the last line :)it's really what it boils down to.my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
The last paragraph or this article is very interesting..Please log in to respond to this comment.thank you mt.i appreciate it-i think,best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
I also believe pain helps us to grow spiritually and enhances our relationship with God if we call on Him for help. Good article. Thanks for sharing.Linda DPlease log in to respond to this comment.
hi linda,thanks for stopping by and reading and commenting."what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger?"my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
This is rather profound, I think you have been through a lot. Congratulations on making it to the other side as a good and caring person. I have had some rough times too, even life threatening stuff more than once. In the aftermath, I have thought whether it would matter in ten years time, and the answer has usually been no for the smaller disasters. So I put my mind into that time and it really does help. We can all decide; bitterness or acceptance? What is the point of bitterness? Acceptance on the other hand gives you strength and dignity, so much better for you and the world in general.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi marjorie,i completely agree about acceptance, and bitterness.i try to let go of the bad things that have happened, and concentrate on the good that will come.thank you for reading and commenting,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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