Resilience Is A Powerful Gift
Posted: Wednesday, November 18, 2009
by Susan Thom
Life hands us both happy and sad situations. It takes some people a long time to get over a death of a loved one, or the loss of a job, or an estrangement of some sort. As a rubber band bounces back, so, too can we. Once something happens, there is a much needed grieving period, until all the anger and self pity, guilt and shame has been shed.
We finally find our dream house, and the year after, the freeway goes in. We put our retirement fund into stocks, and we lose everything. And then, our daughter has her baby, and we know joy once again.
A long lost friend comes into our life, and we enjoy our lives together. Then one day, they have a heart attack and die. What's going to happen to our emotions? Are we going to be stoic for the public, and do our grieving alone? Are we going to lose ourselves in the atmosphere, and deteriorate?
Or, through each circumstance, do we learn a little more on how to be strong, and simply, do the right thing? A prayer to God for some guidance would surely be in order. An honest and humble heart should make the right decision.
As one period of negativity passes, we need to be resilient as we step into our positive circumstances. We need just as much strength during the happy times, as in the bad times. And if we aren't flexible, we will be kept off balance. We need to build up "the resistance to wear."
No more headaches, neck aches, hurt feelings, aching hearts. If we absorb the process of dealing with reality, as bad as it is sometimes, we will also learn the process of our own resilience. If we remain pliable to all that surrounds us, and enters our world, we will be determined and focused.
The faster we can figure out something isn't right, and try to work it out and think about it separately, then together, the more resilient we will be. The other major thing is that honesty has to be behind each decision. We can't fool ourselves, or nothing will be fixed. Reality is a place not many want to play in. They'd rather go to school or work, and come home until it's time to go back. No outside stimuli. Less chance of emotional turmoil.
However, if we face our fears, we can face our reality. It's very scary, and I sometimes think, preordained, but each time we feel the pain of a tragic loss, or a bankruptcy, or the loss of a job, and get all our feelings out, resilience returns, and we're calling hundreds of job possibilities. Crying really hard on your bed into a pillow, is a great way to let it all out. Then, let it go.
On to the next thing. Backbone straight. Look into people's eyes, always. Know that what we believe in is true, God protects and provides. Don't keep feelings bottled up inside with no way to escape. We need to work through them. We must weather the storms that come our way, or they will weather us.
These feelings can alter the way we live our lives. They can hinder the way we think, act, and react to our world. They can leave us weak and lonely, depressed and lethargic. Or, we can build up resilience each time something difficult comes our way.
Each setback can cause a myriad of emotions. However, if we learn how to go with the flow, and stay calm, and work through our situation, the next time something comes up, we will be stronger and more resilient. We can face the world, and all in it. We can accept illnesses and financial problems with more ease.
This doesn't mean that we can solve all that comes our way, but we can learn how to deal with each circumstance in a more appropriate way. We don't have to get sick because our child isn't doing well in school. We can do all we can to get them help; a tutor, a friend who is good in that subject, etc. We can make things better than they are.
I remember having a blow up clown when I was little, that was weighted, and as you punched it, it would come right back up. Now, that's resilience! We could learn a lesson from that clown. Don't let the masses keep you down. Don't let the worries of the world leave you with a negative attitude.
Life is short, although sometimes we feel like we are in a long tunnel, groping towards the light, but that's okay. At least we are going in the right direction. Resilience is probably our best friend. It allows us to weigh the options and the circumstances, and come up with a plan that will alleviate some of our pain.
Our lives mean something, to ourselves, our loved ones, and most certainly, to our God. So, we must work through the ups and downs and keep a positive outlook. Things don't usually stay the same forever. Our resilience in dealing with life, depends on how much work we put into living in an honest, respectful, spiritual, and caring way.
Our happiness is not promised, unless we do the work we need to do in living and helping one another in a truly altruistic manner. We are all sisters and brothers under one Father, and it IS up to us to help our fellow man, and keep ourselves in check.
It's not easy at times, while going through our trials and tribulations, and we will have times we are simply depressed for a period of time. The key is, are we resilient enough to go through it, and then, leave the darkness behind?
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)hi nancy,i erased your comment by mistake.i am so glad i was able to pick you up a little.life is challenging, no doubt, but we can do things and think in ways that help keep us on the positive side.thank you for reading and commenting,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.Hey Sue, I think erased comments can sometimes be retrieved. Send Bruce a note and ask him if they can do it for this one...Please log in to respond to this comment.thanks jeanPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Susan, this is a wonderful article. I can't believe no one has yet commented on it. Great insights, great advice, and very well written.ThanksPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi joyce,i appreciate the lovely compliment.i'm glad you read it.what a great comment.my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Good article. You've obviously learned one of the most important things we humans need to learn about navigating through life. Like I tell my children: It's not whether or not bad things will happen to you in life, they definately will, the important thing is how you deal with these things as they come- and deal with them we must. Ignoring them and running from them only causes them to pile up in our mind, like dirty laundry. Then when we do have to deal with this pile, as we inevitably must, it can be overwhelming sometimes to the point of defeating us. So I guess the message is: Don't let lifes' laundry pile up on you.Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi ella,welcome to searchwarp.i agree with all you said. we have to be able to weather the storms, because we know they definitely will come, but we can also enjoy and be grateful for the positive things we have. i love "don't let life's laundry pile up on you" and ironically, i am going through some depressing things, and my laundry is filling the bag, and now just getting tossed on the floor:) but...i know i need to rest, and my spirit will return.thanks for reading and commenting,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Sue.ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!Hugs,DiannePlease log in to respond to this comment.
I really enjoyed reading this article Sue. The situations you describe, paying off the car and the transmission goes, you buy your dreamhouse and the freeway goes in, are such a good example of how life unfolds at times. You're right it's not always easy, but what choice do we have but to keep on moving! (Now I'm feeling really guilty having had a pity party yesterday). :)Please log in to respond to this comment.hi brianna,don't feel guilty-it hurts the soul.and yes, we do have to keep on moving,no matter who or what trys to stand in our way.thanks for reading and commenting,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Ebbs and flows - we had a "be-attitude" at the missions organization I was with and it was "blessed are the flexible for they shall not be broken" (not in the Bible but a good one) which might fit here too - excellent article! MarijoPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi marijo,thank you for reading and commenting.what an interesting way to look at things.i try very hard to be flexible, and i know it works,i just never heard it put that way before.and i like the be-attitude. that must have been some group.thanks for sharing,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.It was a(and still is) Youth With A Mission and the organization is now in over 200 countries of the world last I heard. They are sold out to Jesus and do many wonderful things besides sharing the gospel - we helped with flood relief here in the US, worked in a children's home in Guatemala and presented a drama (that depicted the gospel) and had a children's ministry team and music-worship team too that's where I met my hubby, Mick. He is an incredible gift from God to me! Mick and I were at Twin Oaks ranch in Garden Valley Texas near Tyler - the blessed are the flexible was sort of a joke but we heard it much when the bus broke down or things got dicey - it worked for us too. MarijoPlease log in to respond to this comment.
I make it a point to complement the strength and ingenuity of the people who sit in my office. But the truth is, I don't think many of them realize the depth of my admiration. Sitting in the room with these people every day allows me to hope that I might also find strength to face future problems. This solid sense of hope is a gift and it is my humble desire to share it with the next person who sits with me.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi janice,hope is a gift, and unfortunately, many have lost theirs'.i think it honorable that you make it a point to give your fellow employees compliments, and assurance.thank you for reading and commenting, i appreciate it,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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