Two Kids In The Military, What's A Mother To Do
Posted: Saturday, December 05, 2009
by Susan Thom
Scary, pure and complicated, not simple at all. However, the fear is pure. My son is in the Air Force, and my daughter is in the Army. Very noble choices, and I am extremely proud of them, but I worry all the time. A mother doesn't want their child to get a scratch on their face from the cat, or a skinned knee, or a cut that needs stitches. The thought of my kids going to war is almost overwhelming to me.
They never had to have stitches. I was always there with them until they went to school. We all know what love feels like. It is an intense feeling of affection for someone. I love my kids, and of course, I don't want anything to happen to them. I have been informed by my son that both he and his sister will probably be going to Afghanistan within the next 3 months, with the other 30,000 troops. And I can't send a note, calling them in sick, as I did when they were in school.
Both kids have told me about the movies they had to watch recently of what was going on in Afghanistan, and what they would see there. How can this even be? These are my children. And they both were affected. Twenty two and twenty four. It just makes me cry; that's all I really can do, and of course, pray. And pray, and pray some more. I wish I could be more positive, and think of the education (which I have heard several times they do NOT get.) They can rely on their votech courses, and get jobs in those fields.
Between now and then, it looks like they'll be fighting for our safety from terrorism. If I could, I'd go over there myself and take my kids, and bring them home. This, of course, is merely a dream. What if I told the Senior Officer that they both had a hereditary disease that doesn't show up on any tests? Or, why don't I accept the inevitable, and place all my Faith in God? But what if God has different plans than I want?
Are they the chosen few who come back safely, or the chosen many, who give their lives up in search of a career, or making their future easier and better? What will they experience that will change them forever? What will cause them nightmares for the rest of their lives, or have them turning to drugs or alcohol to get rid of the images they may see? Faith isn't the determination of what we want. It is God's determination of what we need. And that, can be very painful at times.
Of course, they won't be home for Christmas. It's very hard to comprehend that the children you raised, now carry guns, and may be going to war. I think most of the time, I try to block it all out so I don't have to think about it. But, that doesn't work too often. Mostly, I picture them as little kids, or babies. Maybe my mind doesn't want to think of them as full grown adults, as it makes where they are seem more real.
I talked to my son from Germany this morning. And I found myself listening to his voice as he spoke, and how it sounded for every syllable. That's as close as I can get to him now. However, he just told me he had a video of him playing the acoustic guitar, on his facebook site. I watched and I cried, and he wrote it for, and dedicated it to those in Afghanistan. It's hard to handle. I write my daughter every night while she is in bootcamp in South Carolina. My heart aches, and there is nothing I can do but bide my time, and again, pray, until they are done and home again. Anything can set me off into a crying session. This is what it feels like for a mother who cannot protect her kids.
I will count on God for comfort and strength as these next several years go by. I am left with the tool of prayer, and I will use it often. When the World decides it can use mouths to talk, instead of weapons to kill, maybe other mothers won't have to feel as I do.God gave us all brains to figure out how to think and act. I don't believe that has been done.
Why human beings want to kill each other or maim and cripple, is beyond me. They say the love of money is the root of all evil-I believe the love of power is much more intense, and damaging. Someone other than myself now has power over my kids, and can send them wherever they want, and wherever that is, they will be in harm's way.
No mother wants that for their kids, especially when they've spent 20 years trying to keep everyone safe. I guess I didn't have to worry so much about them avoiding stitches.
Both kids have told me about the movies they had to watch recently of what was going on in Afghanistan, and what they would see there. How can this even be? These are my children. And they both were affected. Twenty two and twenty four. It just makes me cry; that's all I really can do, and of course, pray. And pray, and pray some more. I wish I could be more positive, and think of the education (which I have heard several times they do NOT get.) They can rely on their votech courses, and get jobs in those fields.
Between now and then, it looks like they'll be fighting for our safety from terrorism. If I could, I'd go over there myself and take my kids, and bring them home. This, of course, is merely a dream. What if I told the Senior Officer that they both had a hereditary disease that doesn't show up on any tests? Or, why don't I accept the inevitable, and place all my Faith in God? But what if God has different plans than I want?
Are they the chosen few who come back safely, or the chosen many, who give their lives up in search of a career, or making their future easier and better? What will they experience that will change them forever? What will cause them nightmares for the rest of their lives, or have them turning to drugs or alcohol to get rid of the images they may see? Faith isn't the determination of what we want. It is God's determination of what we need. And that, can be very painful at times.
Of course, they won't be home for Christmas. It's very hard to comprehend that the children you raised, now carry guns, and may be going to war. I think most of the time, I try to block it all out so I don't have to think about it. But, that doesn't work too often. Mostly, I picture them as little kids, or babies. Maybe my mind doesn't want to think of them as full grown adults, as it makes where they are seem more real.
I talked to my son from Germany this morning. And I found myself listening to his voice as he spoke, and how it sounded for every syllable. That's as close as I can get to him now. However, he just told me he had a video of him playing the acoustic guitar, on his facebook site. I watched and I cried, and he wrote it for, and dedicated it to those in Afghanistan. It's hard to handle. I write my daughter every night while she is in bootcamp in South Carolina. My heart aches, and there is nothing I can do but bide my time, and again, pray, until they are done and home again. Anything can set me off into a crying session. This is what it feels like for a mother who cannot protect her kids.
I will count on God for comfort and strength as these next several years go by. I am left with the tool of prayer, and I will use it often. When the World decides it can use mouths to talk, instead of weapons to kill, maybe other mothers won't have to feel as I do.God gave us all brains to figure out how to think and act. I don't believe that has been done.
Why human beings want to kill each other or maim and cripple, is beyond me. They say the love of money is the root of all evil-I believe the love of power is much more intense, and damaging. Someone other than myself now has power over my kids, and can send them wherever they want, and wherever that is, they will be in harm's way.
No mother wants that for their kids, especially when they've spent 20 years trying to keep everyone safe. I guess I didn't have to worry so much about them avoiding stitches.
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)My dear Susan,You are living out the very fears that I have always had, that one day my so will join the army and then to war. he went into music instead, but even here there are dangers of drugs, alcohol, wild environments that make him vunerable. And when this is over he is going to join the merchant navy. Infact my son nearly died just round the corner from us when he got knocked unconscious into a wall by a thug and again recently during Cowes week. The children are a constant worry, I agree it is unbearable at times. I avoid alcohol and try to keep ready and alert in case I'm needed in an emergency. That's all we can do as mothers and pray God will look after them. I really feel for you right now. It's hard keeping strong I know. I will send prayers for your two lovely, brave kids. God be with them always and keep them safe.Take care SusanElfredaPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi elfreda,it's nice to hear from you.my son's friend got held up at gunpoint, in front of my son's apartment before he went into the service. and my other son got punched and robbed 2 weeks ago on the beach in delaware.it just wish i didn't have to worry about this, too.but i will:)thanks for reading and commenting,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
God Bless you and your family Sue,Elf.Please log in to respond to this comment.thank you E,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Susan,Through all the phases our kids go through, the thought was always, "If only they can get through this one, the next can't be that bad." But a friend added, "The problems don't go away, they just become bigger problems." So true.Know that you and yours are in our prayers...one of the many blessing of this great network here at SW.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi nancy,it is a blessing to be involved with good, decent people who really care.I appreciate you reading and commenting, as always,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
I can't even imagine what a parent of one of our wonderful military personnel must go through. My niece and family will be moving to South Korea in June as my nephew by marriage is getting his first command... it is bad enough just for this Auntie! Well done piece. MarijoPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi marijo,thank you for sharing your thoughts.i have no idea what the mother of 2 kids in the military during wartime, goes through either. i'm trying to figure that out.in the meantime, i cry. and pray, and try to stay distracted, and send them letters telling them how much i love them. i want nothing to be left unsaid.thank you for reading and responding,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Susan. my heart goes out to you - I am praying for your children and all the men and women who have made a decision to join the military. I applaud them. We need them and they need our support and prayers. I am praying for all parents as well who are in your shoes. You raised incredibly strong children. In this you should be proud and the faith thing - ya, it's like you said - what if God's plans are different than yours? We can all relate to that. Love you and I am always here if you need to vent - just send me an email. I am forwarding this to my dear friend Patti, as you know, her son is also in the airforce and she will have a special place in her heart for you. Big hugs, tPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi t,it's so good to have you back.i'm sure your friend will be able to relate, and i am honored that you would forward this article.i am so very proud of my kids, and their strength, i am just just terrified for them. i will be writing you emails along the way, and i thank God you'll be there for me,my very best to you, and thank you for the prayers,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Susan,From one military mom to another, I don't know where to begin. I can totally related to everything you have expressed. My son is in the Air Force and is getting ready for his 2nd tour in Iraq. The only way I explain it to people is a pice of my heart is missing and it won't complete until he's home with me. Hang in there and if you ever need to talk feel free to write. I can tell something I did, I had my son leave me a voice mail on my cell phone before he deployed and when ever I felt I needed to hear his voice (and it was often) I would listen to it. It would make me feel like I had a little piece of him with me.Take care.Sincerely,PattiPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi patti,i'm not sure i could deal with hearing their voices, although i did think about that.however, my son plays the guitar, and is in Germany, and he's on facebook and wrote a song on his acoustical guitar dedicated to the men and women in iraq, so i can watch that, but it makes me cry. they were babies, and i was running around like crazy, and now, they're in the military during wartime. i can't really fathom it, i just pray they stay safe.thank you so much for reading and commenting,may God keep all our children safe,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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