What Does It Take To Like Yourself
Posted: Sunday, December 27, 2009
by Susan Thom
I think we as parents today, know more about teaching our kids about self esteem and pride in one's self. My parents both worked, and homework, dinner, a little TV, a shower and bedtime were all they could concentrate on. When we were all decked out in our Christmas and Easter outfits, my sister and I were told we looked pretty, or for my brothers, handsome. I believe my parents took it for granted that their kids should feel good about themselves. It wasn't a deliberate slip, just something they didn't focus on.
It was pretty lonely, but I really never knew any different. I just knew it was something I had to do, so I did it. High school was a little better, but I still only had one friend. We were 14 when we met, and at 53, we still remain friends. After graduation, I worked several jobs and basically, rode out life. I bought a car, worked, shopped, paid my father rent, and waited for something good to happen. I had a volatile relationship with my dad, which caused a lot of hurt, pain and confusion. I learned about feelings, and how to accept my father's ways, and appreciate the times he was funny and loving.
It didn't really compensate for the tears and put downs, and hours spent alone in my room, but I did love him and I was happy for the times he was in a good mood. I had a relationship through junior high and highschool, and learned more about pain, heartache, and yet, there were many good times. I loved this boy, and yet, I never quite knew if he felt the same. I had long, straight hair, parted in the middle, and couldn't have been more of a plain Jane. After being apart for 23 years, we reunited, and have been together for the past 11 years.
In the meantime, I raised three kids and took care of our home. Once they were in their teens, I started reading self help books, and I learned a lot about myself. I discovered that I was honest, caring, kind, loving and hard working, even if it was in the manner of raising kids and cleaning a big home. I had always believed in God, and my relationship grew with time. I never thought I was talking to the air, I always felt as if He heard me, and helped me through the difficult times. I believe that to this day.
As my experiences grew, so did my self confidence and pride in myself. I realized there was nothing wrong with me, and a lot that was right. I cleaned houses for a time, and I was good at it. When I had to stop due to health reasons, all my customers begged me to stay. I just wasn't physically able to do that type of work. I was a Real Estate agent for 4 years until again, health problems interfered and I had to quit. However, for the time I was active, I sold many homes, and my customers stayed with me and trusted me. There was never a customer I didn't find a home for.
All of these positive things filled my soul, and made me feel proud. And that pride allowed me to like myself. I was a good person, and I knew that in my mind and soul. I liked how I thought and acted and my group of friends expanded. I like who I am and I'm proud of the hard work it takes to do so. Everyone can do a self evaluation, depend on God's good graces, change what needs to be changed or readjusted, and actually like themselves. It's a process, but it can be done. It's enlightening, good for one's health, and appreciated by all you come in contact with.
You can start by making a list of your good characteristics, and your bad. The bad need to be changed. If you are impatient, learn patience. If you are judgmental, realize that we are all God's children, and it's not our job to tear another down. If you are obsessive compulsive, learn that nothing has to be done this very minute. If you are negative, try being positive. If you are angry, learn how to be satisfied and happy. If you are lazy, push yourself to do more. These adjustments will change how you feel about yourself, and give yourself a new outlook on this life we all must lead. In reality, you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Good advice you give here SusanPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi david,it's easy writing about what i know. painful, but easy.if the information provided helps even one person, i would be happy.thank you for reading and responding,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Sue!Great points that everyone could use and learn to live by. Thanks for sharing. Isn't it a great gift that God can use our shortcomings to make us whole.Blessings,MichellePlease log in to respond to this comment.hi michelle,it was through heartache and strength that i've gotten through this life, and they say, "write what you know."i hope you have a great 2010,thanks for reading and commenting,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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