It's Time To Come Back From Myself
Posted: Sunday, January 03, 2010
by Susan Thom
There is nothing or no one who can upset me, but my own self. It took me years to figure this out, but I finally have an understanding that only I can use my mind and balance my feelings out. I certainly feel sad and depressed and angry over certain situations, but I no longer let them rule my life. Sometimes, it takes time to sift through my feelings, but I believe if I am a good person, fortified with Faith, I can get through any circumstance by thinking it through.
Eventually, my prayers kick in, and I start to feel stronger. Things I couldn't get myself to do, suddenly get done. The world seems bright again and my responsibilities once more are taken care of. I start out with little things, one thing a day. Each one of these things makes me feel stronger, and less depressed. Accomplishing what I was putting off gives me the desire to do more. If I've been avoiding doing laundry until I have 6 loads facing me, I start by doing one load a day, and feeling good about seeing the piles go down. The next day, I may vacuum and wash the kitchen floor.
Usually, these chores are second nature to me. I don't even have to think about them, I just do them. However, depression takes all of my energy and weakens my mind and body. This depression needs to go through the thoughts and emotions before I can come out the other side. When I do return, it's like a breath of fresh air. And then I know God has guided me, and once again, another episode is over. The knowledge I have absorbed is used the next time I feel myself starting to go under depression's hold. I know I must cry, pray, and rest. Chores will get done, and peace will come once again.
When I'm feeling depressed, the worst thing to do is to feel unproductive and lazy. I can't help what my brain does to my mind during times of grief, fear and anger. I must ride it out, and use every tool I have learned through experience. Worrying is senseless, but it appears anyway. It's just one of the steps. This lasts several days, and then, like a light has been turned on, I begin to feel like myself again. Things get done with little effort, and hope returns. I am not a lazy person. I have raised 3 kids and taken care of my home for 22 years. My home is usually spotless, and has been so for all these years.
It's been a lot of "work" but I did it, along with paying the bills and running all the errands and shopping for all birthdays and holidays. Now, I take care of what needs to be done, and I write an article here and there. I enjoy spending time with my partner and looking forward to the future. When depression sets in, I use my resources to come back from myself. When worry begins, I need to rely on my Faith. I have to allow myself to feel the anguish, and then, come out of it. If I need to sleep, I have to do so, and not feel guilty. Things will change, I just need to give it time.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Good article Susan, I hope you are able to keep your financial situations satisfied. I know it's hard when you have little income to deal with. I wish you the best of luckPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi david,thank you.life can be very difficult at times, andjust difficult at others!my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Things will change, as they always do. Thanks for sharing this.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi michael,it's nice to hear from you.you are so right. i'm better than i was, and i learn well through experince.thanks for reading and commenting.my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Nice article, good read.Please log in to respond to this comment.thank you anon.i'm glad you enjoyed it!,regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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