Do You Know What Your Pattern Is, And Does It Sabotage You
Posted: Saturday, August 14, 2010
by Susan Thom
Do you find yourself living a life of chaos and fear? Are you constantly trying to undo things you've said or done? Do you wonder why you seem to be apologizing to friends and loved ones for those things? Do you feel as if you consistently seem to have your foot in your mouth? Are you in constant turmoil; never knowing what to do next to set things right? Do you find yourself saying, "Oh no, I blew it again?"
Has anyone ever confronted you and asked if you had a pattern to your behavior? Did you ever think about it? Do your insecurities blind you to the fact that you are acting out? Are you selfish and self centered? And if so, do you know why? Can you trace your disposition back to a certain time or place or person? Not that they are at fault, we are always responsible for our own behavior, but there are reasons.
Your pattern is sabotaging you and if you dig deep enough, and figure out what it is, you can change it. It's not an easy thing to do, but it can be done. I think the first step is the realization of what is going on in your life. Is it rebellion because you are the fourth girl in a household that wanted a boy? How many times were you introduced as "This is Natalie, who we thought would be our Nathaniel?"
Did you feel unwanted to the point that all your Barbie's heads were smashed? Patterns start very early on. If they're not dealt with, they follow us into adulthood. Fear is the emotion that all else stems from. Once you figure out what you are afraid of, you can either get some help, or help yourself. There are plenty of self help books that can guide you how to overcome your negativity and anger, and set you on a more positive path.
However, you have to admit to yourself that you need help before you can go after it. And even more important, you have to want it. If you become as absorbed in reading and learning as you were with acting out and retaliating, you will begin to change. You will find that there is an underlying feeling that causes dysfunction and inappropriate behavior. Once you figure out the pattern, you can understand yourself better, and be more amicable to those around you.
Your own self will no longer sabotage your life as it once did. You may slip now and then; here and there, but mistakes can be worked through. Once you have the psychological tools to help balance the good with the bad, life will be easier and more pleasant. You will know how to keep your self confidence and self esteem in check. It won't matter if your father yelled all the time, or your mother lost control when she was stressed to the maximum.
You will be responsible for your own composure and kindness, and life will be easier to handle. Eventually, you will know what pride feels like, and will gravitate to the more positive aspects of living. Once you figure out what your pattern is, it won't sabotage you as often. And when it does, you'll know how to correct your mistakes, and move on. No one is 100%, but to be conscious of the pattern you have developed, is to live a calmer, happier existence.
This Article has been viewed 378 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)You should have been a psychiatrist SusanPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi david,i always wanted to be when i was young....just never got there.thanks for the comment.i appreciate your support,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Thanks Susan. Self introspection is the first step of fundamental change.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi e,thank you for reading and commenting.let's see, i'm 54, i guess self introspection lasts a lifetime :)i know it does!i appreciate you stopping by,my best,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
It's very hard to find the pattern and cause yourself. You may need someone to ask the probing questions or use the cognitive behavioral therapy book.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi christine,i believe this is true, although some of us are aware of the demons that haunt us. it's always more thorough to have someone else's opinion. thanks for reading and commenting,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
It is true- No life model is perfect 100% and all of a life model in all situations of life can be lived calmer, happier life with control for consciousness.Thanks inspirating thoughtsPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi gs,control is definitely a big part of staying calm and at piece, and at one with yourself, nature, and others. thanks for reading and commenting. it is appreciated,my best regards,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.