This Is My Family…
Posted: Sunday, October 16, 2011
by Susan Thom
Since I can remember thinking and feeling, I have known that family means people we are close to, and not just those who we are related to. I had an "aunt nannie" who was really my mother’s distant cousin. My sister and brothers and I called her that from the time we could talk, until the time she passed away, some thirty years later.
They aren’t concerned with the kind of home I have or the car I drive or the amount of money I have, or I owe. They simply enjoy spending their time with me, as I do with them. If any of them were to pick out a present for me, I would love it. They know me well enough to know what I like. And vice versa. We help each other in times of need, and support each other in times of great accomplishment.
I have someone in my life that I feel close to me, and caring about what happens to me and my biological family. We are good to each other, and probably will be forever friends. Some of us have stepchildren or step parents or step grandparents. Many create a bond that is equal or more so than our biological parents. A step parent that raises a child, or loves a child, or communicates with a child or adult, may well spend much more time with a child than their biological parents.
Family , to me, is a group of children and adults who truly care about each other, and feel love for one another, whether adopted or step or half, and the meaning of "family" might not even apply to the biology we came from. A group of friends that have weathered grammar school, middle school, and high school together, through thick and thin, is family to me. People who work together every day, over 350 days a year, and share their ups and downs, and offer compassion and advice, are family to me.
A 12 step program helped pull me out of a dark and downward spiral, and those who contributed to that, were family to me. Those who helped put me there, and were referred to as family, ended up to be nothing but trouble and heartache. They say you can’t pick your family, but you can…really. Simply don’t talk or write or email them, ignore them, and keep your soul free of the grief they have in store for you. We may be biologically from the same line of ancestors, but we don’t have to be harmed in any way because of it.
I have a Wryte Stuff family, and even though I have never seen most of the people I talk with, over a four year period, we have gotten close. I have a family in my readers. Family has been changing definition since divorce first started. What else would parents do? Go to a restaurant, see another family they know, and introduce your family as my step son, my step son’s brother on his mother’s side, my daughter and my 2nd husband’s cousin Fred?
Family means love to me, and caring and connection and respect. It means all are committed to bonding together to be a unit. Of course, 2 parents and 4 kids that share those same parents, are considered family, and that’s probably going to stick, but so should the people who love one another and dedicate their free time to being together. There are those that adopt, those that marry others with children, and those that have their own children. In my eyes, all are family.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Good article SusanPlease log in to respond to this comment.hi david,
thank you for reading and commenting.
i hope you have a good week,
my best,
suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
You do indeed have a Write Stuff family. I read your story with that kind of affection. I agree with the way you characterize family. Wonderful job.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi c,
thanks you for reading and commenting.
thanks for the nice compliment,
my best regards,
suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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