The Shame Of Lies Defiles The Soul
Posted: Friday, November 04, 2011
by Susan Thom
The bigger the lie, the more guilt and shame. That is, if one has a conscience and knows right from wrong. I never knew the constriction lies had on my soul until I attended a 12 step group. I found out there that the more we lie, and the more guilt we feel, the more we drink to escape. We can’t face those we lied to, and we can’t face ourselves, so we run towards oblivion, and forgetfulness. We may be too self centered to admit defeat, or too embarrassed, or just too plain stubborn to even reveal our problem with anyone else.
It all boils down to not wanting to get yelled at. So what you get yelled at? You take it, and you move on. It’s better than lying about something, and corrupting that part of your being that is good and gracious. I abhor getting into a heated argument. However, I know what it feels like to violate my soul in such a way that I can’t walk with my head up, I can’t look people in the eyes, and the omnipresent feelings of depression surround me.
For what? Because I broke someone else’s crystal lamp? If I admit that I broke it, I might hear the ceremony of angry words thrown my way.
I may be tempted to defend my honor, or try to explain to the other person that it’s not that big of a deal. Well, it was for them! So, I take the consequences, and I keep going. No lies told, no pollution to the soul. There are times we lie for stupid reasons. I don’t count them as lies, unless they hurt or deceive another human being. Not the truth-lies! To tell the telemarketer that you are in the middle of dinner so you can get off the phone may be a definite lie, but I don’t believe God gives these "white lies" that much merit.
To know someone got so much pleasure out of constructing something, and is so proud of it, should be to know that even though it looks absurd with nails hanging out and split wood, it wouldn’t hurt you to say it looked great. The satisfaction that turns into self esteem for that person, is worth more than the desire not to lie. There is a line, and we each should know what that line is. I remember my youngest son was about 2, and the older 2 kids were coloring on the kitchen table with him, and he came to show me his "picture" he made. It was a dot. Nothing more.
I still told him how nice it was, because he had thought it out and produced something at 23-24 months of age. Was it beautiful? No. did I lie? Yes. Was his smile worth it? Yes. Had I learned the difference in lies by then? Yes. Do I think God is going to punish me, or support me on the decision I made to make his child happy? Support me. I think we’re all aware of what I mean by a lie. Words strung together to deliberately deceive or degrade another. We may think we are doing some real damage to another, when in reality, the defiling is happening in our soul.
When the soul has too much deceit, it weakens, and doesn’t support our character. This is when a real change needs to come into affect. I was surprised at what I could say when I got the hang of it. I don’t like to go out at night. If I am invited somewhere at night, and I don’t want to go, I can now say, "no thank you, I don’t go out at night." Once upon a time, I would try to think of an excuse, then wallow in it for a while, then be fearful it might come out that I was instead, going to the movies with my husband, and be secretive and on the look out the whole night. Lo and behold, at intermission I might run into one of the daughters of the women who invited me. The woman I told I was sick with a fever and sore throat!
It’s so much easier and less burdensome to tell the truth whenever possible, which should be just about always.
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Yeah Susan, honesty is still the best policy, good article, thanks for sharing your views on the subject.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi david,
thank you.
sometimes, the best policy is hard for us to stand by, but it really is what is best,
my best to you,
suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Great article, Sue! It's the simple concepts that sometimes are the hardest to internalize. Thanks for the reminder.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi jean,
i hope all is well.
thank you for reading and commenting.
after over 800 articles, one may think i would run out of thoughts and words! ha-not me.....
a book of 23 of my articles should be done this week!
volume 1 !!!!
my best to you,
sue
Please log in to respond to this comment.
Go get em, Susan. You have a strong powerful verbal construction that keeps you going and strong. You are candid, with some fortitude. Sure you have admirers and those who wish the best for you. I am they.Please log in to respond to this comment.i try to chris...
i have walked down many life paths in this worldly lifetime, and i have learned to be powerful and strong, and to keep going when it looks like all has failed. we are a sum of all our experiences, mine have been many, and i like to share myself through my writing. i am grateful and glad you like it,
my best to you,
suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Great piece and oh, so true....thanks for the good reminder...Please log in to respond to this comment.hi marijo,
thank you for reading and commenting.
i am thinking about you and wishing you well,
my best to you,
suePlease log in to respond to this comment.Thanks Susan - am doing much better than I thought I would. Definitely not back to "normal" but getting there - radiation in December- January.Please log in to respond to this comment.
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