Don’t Push The Anger Down, Push It Out
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011
by Susan Thom
Anybody who thinks they don’t get angry, simply doesn’t know what the word means. Maybe they never stubbed their big toe getting out of bed! Or had someone use every waking moment to get under their skin. There are millions of examples, and we all have many, I’m sure, but what can we do with that anger? If we were taught to suck it up and "get over it", chances are we are going to send that feeling of rage to all the pores, crevices, muscles and organs of our bodies. I can say this because I’ve done it.
I have to listen to the voice in my head that is telling me to chill-there are people starving, dying from something they had no responsibility for. People are homeless, and I’m angry because I have to sweep up some java. I can still be angry, but it’s best to throw the anger out with the grinds, or I’ll be in a mood all day.
This is a way of diffusing the stress, and not letting it build up until you blow. Took me years to learn, I must say, and I suffered greatly.
Another great tool I finally absorbed, was that it matters what you say and how you say it. If we just think for a few minutes before talking (something that was unheard of in my angry brain) we might avoid a confrontation. "Would you please hand me that spoon?" is much more effective than, "give me that spoon." I’m not talking trickery, just common respect that we may or may not have learned, or put on the shelf somewhere along the way. I have used this exercise myself, and I was amazed at how well it worked. Misguided words caused anger, and resentments, and peaceful, kind words warranted respect.
There are times where I just need to be by myself to think or pray, or both. When I feel myself pushing the anger down, I talk it out in my head, pray to God for the guidance I so need, and to my mom and dad, and try to bring about positive change. If I decide to go for a walk, I am pushing any anger I am feeling out, and enjoying the freedom of the air and the trees, and nature. I no longer feel tense or angry to the point of allowing the stress to hurt me physically mentally, and actually, spiritually.
Any of us who have hobbies can help our immune system, our hearts, and our blood, if we can learn how to rearrange our thinking to that of a more positive nature. We can garden, write, read, talk to a friend, email, send something nice to someone, walk, run, do cartwheels if that’s what it takes. Get that black, negative feeling out of your body. Guaranteed the person or persons who angered you, won’t be getting sick, so why should you? They can be as wrong as the day is long, but you are your main concern, so letting go and pushing the anger out instead of pushing it down, is the best thing you can do for yourself!
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)A wonderful vivid title that speaks to how you have treated this topic with humor, pathos and candidness. Great job.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi c,
thank you for reading and commenting.
once in a while, a good title comes to me :)
i hope you enjoyed it,
my best to you,
suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
I guess we all get mad once in a while. Even animals have a temper of their own.Please log in to respond to this comment.hi david,
you reminded me that animals let it out!. they don't see prey and wonder whether they should go after it or not. i think they have less stress than humans:)
thanks for reading and commenting,
my best to you,
suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
I love your title! I can't push it down, either, have to let it out. I think people who do suppress suffer a lot inside of themselves...Please log in to respond to this comment.hi jennifer,
thank you for reading and commenting.
i also believe those who stuff the anger down, suffer, although at times, it is hard not to.
i believe letting go is an exercise that we must always practice.
i hope you have a beautiful holiday season,
my best regards,
suePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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