Keep Your Compulsions To Yourself
Posted: Wednesday, February 01, 2012
by Susan Thom
I’m sure we all have things we do that are regimented, and important to our frame of mind. I think life is supposed to be like that, and we are meant to learn as we go along. However, there are those who must live by certain rules and regulations. They have impulses and compulsions that lead them to make sure they eat lunch at noon, a snack at 3, dinner at 5, and so on. They get antsy and hyper if these impulses aren’t taken care of. That is where their problem begins, but my thought is this: I don’t have those compulsions. Please don’t expect me to eat at noon, instead of 1, or have dinner at 5 instead of 8. Furthermore, please don’t get annoyed and frustrated with me because I do not set my watch by yours, or have the same impulsiveness to stay on top of my compulsions!
It’s no big deal to me what time I eat, or if I even do until I’m hungry. I will, however, accommodate someone I am with and have lunch when they feel most comfortable. I will put everything back in the same place in someone’s room I am cleaning. Order means a lot to those with OCD, and other compulsive behaviors. I am not a doctor or a psychologist, or a therapist, I simply write about what I know and have witnessed. I have tried to point out what the other person is doing, in hopes of making life a little easier on them. Sometimes they take my advice, and sometimes, they just can’t. Again, that is fine, just don’t expect me to join your behaviors, and please don’t get mad at me for following my own, but different path. After all, I have my own compulsive behaviors to deal with J
Some people don’t like the color red. Well, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t wear my red coat when we go out. I have found that give and take and treating others the way you want to be treated are good standards too live by. When I smoked and was with people who didn’t, or were allergic, I didn’t smoke. If someone didn’t like the smell of stale smoke that I was used to, and I was going to pick them up to go somewhere, I aired the car out and sprayed deodorizer, and didn’t smoke while I was with them. Give and take. Just don’t expect. Don’t expect I am not going to have a cigarette in the parking lot. Give and take. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if more people did just that?
I think it comes down to communicating one’s feelings to another, so our compulsions are understood, therefore, they can be dealt with in the best way possible. When I did smoke, and someone who didn’t would tell me I should stop, I would explain to them what made me attracted to cigarettes and smoking. Not only addiction, (I couldn’t eat one ant!) I didn’t know how to deal with what I was feeling at the time of my life that I smoked. I would get fidgety and trembly. Nervous and panicky. The first hit of a cigarette would ease all of those emotions, and calm me down. I bet they have a lot more aggravated people in restaurants now that they can’t smoke. With the pollution we live with now, I don’t think smoking or smelling cigarette smoke is going to matter much!
I got way off track, but my point is: have your compulsions, your needs, your "fixes", your security blankets, just don’t expect me to feel the same and react the same, and I’ll do the same back!!
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